First Sonata Op. 120. No. 1 for Clarinet and Piano by Johannes
Allegro Appassionato - 1st movement
F minor (Sheet music on the bottom if you wish to try and follow)

This is a Romantic piece which was written for Richard Mühlfeld
"The first movement is in sonata form. It begins with a solo piano introduction in three parallel octaves, outlining a recurring motif throughout the movement. The clarinet then enters with the slurred first theme. The piano takes over the theme, with the clarinet playing more of an embellishing role. It was normal in clarinet music before the sonatas for the soloist to play mostly, if not always, the melody. Brahms did not reduce the scope of the piano part to accommodate for the clarinet, but created a more equal and harmonious relationship between soloist and accompanist.[6] The quiet transition between the two themes is in D-flat major and features staggered entrances between the hands of the piano. The second theme introduces dotted rhythms and is marked marcato, contrasting with the first theme. It passes through many key areas quickly before finally resting on C minor.
The development begins by expanding on ideas heard in the introduction and transition. The piano plays with staggered hand entrances and joins the clarinet in recalling the second bar of the introduction. The music makes a false movement towards A-flat major, instead landing on E major. The introduction material takes over and winds down to pp. A subito forte evokes the second theme combined with staggered entrances from both piano hands and clarinet. The second theme is finally presented and leads to the recapitulation.
The introduction is restated forte in the key of C-sharp minor. Brahms brings the key back around to F minor and the first theme, transition, and second theme are heard again. Tonally, this section does not stray far from F although the music goes through major and minor sections. A final statement of the first theme leads into the coda, marked Sostenuto ed espressivo. The coda is slower in tempo and based on material from the introduction. The movement ends quietly in F major."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarinet_Sonatas_(Brahms) - not so reliable but this this is what we do...

This was another performance... We all know that unfortunately not everything goes well in performances but the show must go on... Finger slip ups but more realistic ... kind of like when an actor forgets their line on stage but the notes sometimes just go too fast ...

But this piece was actually formulated so that Clarinet and piano almost play and equal amount ... so we can actually say this was a Duet between a clarinet and piano which made the music all that much harder. Now you weren't only concentrating on you playing the part and being accompanied but making sure you were working as a team. I guess it helped I had a phenomenal Accompanist Lara, she is now she Class piano teacher in Redlands.

Ok, I'm writing this to my Ex bf, which happens to be the only one... haha. I guess when you date people it doesn't count until you have an official title and well only one ever has...Eek right? And this is truly hard, it really not hard but it is... and only one person on here knows him which is his wife but we both know how he is... lol

You!, 

You were a dear one to my heart at one point. Hey you even broke me down many times and shattered my heart. It was your manipulation scheme to make me stronger as a girl. And you know what? It maybe didn't work when we were together but it worked. You helped me to stop shedding those tears. To feel less pain, you turned me more into a rock. It was a tough process you made me endure, and I still don't know how you made me do panic attacks but you thought of the perfect ways. I was weak and you took advantage to teach me. I was innocent and trusted you above all. And you know, You taught me not to trust men. You taught me the 2nd nature that many hide. You taught me to be suspicious, you taught me how women are used and then you taught me that even jerks like you deserve a great person by their side. Don't get me wrong I learned that even some let go of dreams to pursue others which was fine because maybe you would have lost a part of your illusion following your dreams... You were such an admirable instrumentalist, to this say I still wish more would have gotten to experience the talent you possess and let go. I still have hopes that one day you'll pick up that instrument and go play somewhere... You had so much talent but you were so lazy because it was all too easy for you.... 

But, what happened between us is not important. I know we hurt people in the process... What can I say... I was insanely in love with you at one point and well you weren't with me but I was blinded. I didn't want to see the truth, I wanted the happy ending you had promised me. Sure you led me down a road of destruction but in the end you straightened me out with  more pain but you did it. You gave me eternal happiness, you gave me my son who I treasure. I will admit times have been hard but towards the end, I gave you advice for your now wife, you probably don't remember but the worst part was seeing you cry over her and I just wanted you to be happy. I even took you to her on many times. I thought that with years we owed it to comprehend one another. 

I don't hold any resentment for the pain you caused me, in fact I never held a grudge for that long (I was hurt for a while) but in fact all I wanted was your happiness. I knew that you deserved the best even if I never matched the expectations you needed in a woman. I will admit I was scarred but I learned a lot. The only time I do regret was getting back with you after we broke up 2 months in...This time because even though we felt miserable, you only broke up because your friends told you to... it would have been easier for nothing to happen from there but it happened and from there on after everything was much more serious... After that, what happened between us was meant to be and it was my fault. I just wanted someone to love me and to want me and you would want me and love me then push me away. When guys described how they are (now in the present), I wish I would have met less selfish people other than you but we were kids, we didn't know a thing but being selfishly together, not to mention you kept me selfishly with you too. You controlled me... We were learning with each other... I am just thankful that my friends waited patiently after those years we were together because you sure didn't let me interact with them. They told me all my mistakes and I took them and they forgave me... I allowed myself to not live.

All I wish for you, now, is to be happy and have love in your life for the rest of your life. Please don't take your wife for granted, she has dealt with a lot and we all know why. In fact, for the rest of our lives we will always ensure all 4 of us and not to mention once someone comes into my life. But treat her well and show her love. Anything less than that will never be enough.

Love, 

The Smart, Weird, Gothic, Clarinet Band Girl 

You know who, the only one that stood out and practiced every lunch

and the one one you thought was beautiful at one point... 

Goodbye- never forever- just from my heart that never said goodbye

(*sigh* still one of the hardest things I've had to do... what a challenge :'(  ) I don't cry in sadness it just stirs stuff but I'm happy his wife is in his life and they're happily married.... And I know she's reading this... One of my longer xanga friends who has been here since I recommended Xanga to her. 

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Day 1 - Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Day Seven: Four turn offs.

1. Stupidity- And I mean you're dumb and can't get far in a conversation. I'm not saying you have to be smart but know how to talk about something meaningful... tomorrow you'll learn I like intelligence but think of something or I wont wanna talk to ya... sorry.

2. Ignorance- Ignorance isn't bliss always... But, I understand if you don't know everything and that's fine but please don't be ignorant in the simple facts of life... and I'm not talking purity... (this is a thin line with stupidity but different) 

3. Superiority complex- Ok, I love smart guys and who are confidant but you have no right to think you're better than the whole world... I'll probably, arm wrestle you and beat you, then knock the wind out of ya and give ya a black eye... I'm sure you'll feel better after that... 

4. Dishonesty- tell me the truth, a good slap in the face with the truth (I'll close my eyes to not feel the strike) but I prefer that pain than living a lie. I will disrespect you more for lying even though I can't guarantee a complete  forgiveness with the truth but you're far better off than me finding out. And don't think I'll never find out because I will... Did I ever tell you I wanted to investigate when I was little... lol

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Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now. 
Day Two: Nine things about yourself. 
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart. 
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot. 
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done. 
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever.) 
Day Seven: Four turn offs. 
Day Eight: Three turn ons. 
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now. 
Day Ten: One confession.

My childhood dream when i was young was to be a defense attorney. yea, I was 10 at the time... that was still before I knew of the Clarinet but I still wanted it. I wanted to be a lawyer even though I was embarrassingly shy ... (in fact I knew I was so shy at the age of 5, I couldn't do anything with the fear people were looking at me and judging me... yea 5 yrs old) Anyways, I had the dream and wanted to pursue it... I went to high school and I knew that in order for me to want to know what it felt like I was suppose to be in a Mock trial team, the thing was that our school was brand new and didn't offer it. So I kept asking for it... and pushing towards it... they made it... yay! My first 7th period class... not to mention I already had a zero period so I was in school 8 period... one before school and another after... I really wanted this... we learned about the law and the objections and all that jazz... it was fun... but I wasn't ready for the attorney position... I was actually the defendant who was put on trial ... I was still sure that even though I was too shy and have a hard time standing up to people I would be a great attorney. The thing that started to change my mind... and even though I loved those 2 teachers it was them... 2 females... one of them was a lawyer's secretary so she knew her way around the books and did a lot of the work, the other teacher was very intimidating but super nice to me (in fact I fooled her one time I was unprepared for the class, my sweet, pureness in character bought her away, no lie... so glad she didn't make me cry that day...*sigh* ) 

anyways, those 2 teachers were amazing, they were great but you know what... they were in their 40s/50s and most importantly single... I knew at that moment that if I wanted to pursue my dream... I would lack sleep... Never been a fan but out of choice not because I had to... I know stupid but the thing was that I was going to have to marry my job  if I wanted to be successful. I knew at that moment that I didn't want to be it just because of that. I one day wanted to have a family... I wanted to get married and have children... and if I did then that would interfere with my job... I knew at 15-16 i had to pick in between a career or his other childhood dream I had had for years... 

It's stupid really... I guess I chose the wrong path to begin... 

When I was young I was to be married by the age of 22 and have 3 kids by the age 25.... watch them grow and live happily ever after. Now, I'm 26 and sure I have a child but definitely not the way it was suppose to be... One child and not married... Now, I have no career no life but my son... 

And there is still a childhood dream I will keep... One day I will find a way to succeed in life...  I will have my dream home... I guess my dream home will always be too hard out of reach and that is how you know you were a dreamer but can't get rid of it all...

I see all these homes and they all seem so tiny to what dream portrays... I don't even know how a lil poor girl had the thought to imagine said house... to tell you the least I drew out plans when I was young and wanted to add measurements to it and make it as realistic... before I go to a minimal description of what I dreamed a selfish lil girl... (did I ever tell you I wanted to do fashion design too... I had drawn out many clothes items, pants, coats, sweaters, jackets, dresses... Hey I drew different variations of what I use to want my dream wedding dress to look like. In fact, i wanted to designed my self, can you imagine...)  Anyways, I use to want a huge house and you're mentality of huge doesn't compare...  I wanted one with many rooms... I a lot...to the the least... I use to want an indoor and outdoor pool but as a grown up I'll be happy with one on the outside with a spa, but I do want a spa and a  big bathroom in the master bedroom, I guess that's too much but I'll save for it and remodel... who knows maybe my dad would be able to do it... he's remodeled house before... but an  office to share or individual depending on how much office space is needed... , family room for kids, living room for peace and quiet, Kitchen... one of my favorite places except when I have to do the dishes... lol 2 stoves.. I always use to want to know what it felt like to have everything cooking at the same time... I guess it's the chef part of me lol probably 2 different Refrigerators but only one in the kitchen area..

Can't believe when we're young we think  everything is reachable and then we grow up a lil and everything seems unreachable... *sigh* I guess if I'm lucky and start saving I can at least have the huge kitchen and I'll invite everybody for dinner... =D

I was listening to this song right now... quite a few times actually and every time I've listen to it, it just brings me to tears... I don't know what it is about it... But I guess I feel like "You raise me up" ... I feel hopeful and peace of mind... A feeling none like any other... this intense happiness reassurance....

Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

1. Arturo Daniel (aka. Danny) He is my son and well his birth saved me from a lot of things, his face on daily basis makes me understand so much more about life. He has taught me about loving another more than myself... He gives me hope for the future. 

2. Mom- she has gone through hard moments in life for the last 3 years. She is a strong woman who just keeps going like the Energizer bunny commercials... she gives me courage. Being put through a bad car accident to finding out about a brain tumor to brain surgery... And she is still going for the gold!! 

3. Dad- He has always given me courage and the strength to do what I want in th future. He has always supported me through out anything. Even though, he severed his whole left hand in a job accident in 2000 and lost movement and touch... he managed to pick up an instrument again and fight against what he technically wouldn't be able to do. Seeing him practice and go through life makes it seem like I've been through nothing at all... 

4. Ray J.A. - Fills me with optimism about life every single day. His courage and everything he has gone through just makes everything I've gone through minimal. He is a person who I admire and would like to be most like in the future. --Working towards it.-- I don't think I've ever met a person so pure at heart, sweet, lovable, talented, smart, musically inclined in both voice and instrumentally and who I enjoy things he does. 

5. All the people in life (sorry I can't pick a 5th too hard) 

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Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now. 
Day Two: Nine things about yourself. 
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart. 
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot. 
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done. 
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever.) 
Day Seven: Four turn offs. 
Day Eight: Three turn ons. 
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now. 
Day Ten: One confession.

30 Day Challenge- Day 6- A letter to A Stranger

Dear Stranger, 

I really wish I can help you. I know you probably don't need more help than I do.But, You might need someone to listen to, a shoulder to cry. Maybe just a friend who knows you're around and in fact not alone. I just want to know how you feel. Is your heart broken, Do you know love? Tell me about you, I wouldn't mind listening to your story. We all live in this fast lane in life. After all, I'm a stranger to all and sadly mostly to me. Maybe even though I don't know you, I may know and understand more about you than you can imagine. Maybe, you're not the one who needs me, maybe I need you more than you actually need me. A stranger, a friend who wouldn't mind just a piece of my mind, my heart to mend. I'm not looking to be fixed or ever expect a stranger burdened with me... But, I want to be your friend. I just want to understand your side of the story... 

A no longer a stranger, and quite possibly a new best friend,

Rey

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Day 1 - Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Hmmm...  (this is kind of long but it's my story)

I will start incorporating a little bit of music... since some have wondered a little about it. I will start with "how I got into Music?" 

Treble/Bass heart

by the way if I ever got a tattoo (which i'm not) this would be it. 

I was 4-5 and my dad bought/rented this stand-up piano/organ...Which he bought at a mall (Monterey Mall on San Gabriel Blvd off on the 60, in Ca- not like it matters haha) I don't even know what it was I think more of an organ because it had so many buttons. Anyways, so with it came lessons... well not privately but that a class a week. They talked and people listened took notes and had a piano in front of  them. It was my dad, my mom and I was 4-5 and my lil sister was 2-3...  So we would go to these classes and they gave me a pencil and my dad gave me staff paper... I started taking notes... my first attempt... 

Next when we were a lil older my dad put my sister and I into voice lessons... I think I was like 7 or so... I can't remember... I do remember (now realizing) there were so many requirements and I didn't quite understand and being young I didn't like the restrictions... The guy said: No drinking cold drinks, no ice, no clearing throat, and I know  there was more but those were what I remember... then came trying to teach us how to use the diaphragm and take in enough air, and not to mention the support which is keeping your lower stomach tight... (btw if used properly, or supporting sometimes it make work out like you have done crunches) Anyways, I was so young and I didn't understand what he was trying to say... He had my lil sis lay down and put books on her stomach to understand the concept... I didn't like the idea... I quit!! 

Time progressed and my dad also played violin so I would get it myself and try but he never taught. He only knew how to play by ear and didn't know which notes... 

When I was in 4th grade he started teaching me a little of the keyboard he had actually bought one (he lost the other) and he taught me everything he knew... I knew the notes in form of (Do Re Mi Fa So La Si Do) and I was able to play everything he taught me and I started singing a little while playing the keyboard... I left happy I was able to do both... And he told he that I had to learn theory so I embedded that in my mind... I started to pick up and well I thought it was nice to know info.

IN 5th grade was the time when you had the ability to choose and instrument to play. I was so sure I was going to pick the Violin. It had been in my mind for years... but, the middle school band came to play for us and the music teachers from Middle School and High School came... well I saw

The Clarinet

I fell in love with this beautiful instrument... I had never seen anything like . I thought it was perfect, it was me!!

I was very stubborn and question a lot... to say the least I took a few lessons from a kid in Middle school or high school, I can't remember anymore and I questioned everything he was telling me... haha I was a lil jerk... he was trying to teach me emboucher and tuning... failed...

I wasn't bad actually i was pretty ok in middle but then we had to move by my 8th grade yr and the music program wasn't strong I was self teaching me the altissimo range of the instrument ... those almost broke glass and torn ear drums but I needed to start doing something... I felt like I wasn't learning and I was self motivated... I also worked on the Chalumeau register (which is the lowest the instrument plays) , it use to make my head spins and vibrate with the really low notes... took some adapting... 

Can I say I practiced and practices... Anytime I had the opportunity to get that instrument in my mouth I would... In high school I started learning more... I knew more... so I made sure I was the best... I practiced... made sure I always had books to play... so I would sight read, I would compete against myself so I knew my scales, I learned rhythms... anything to make sure I was doing ok... I was a great leader and expected a lot some my section. I was section leader.. The shyest one but a very powerful domineering one too... 

I picked up Tenor sax in high school and played it in the Jazz Band... I took theory my senior year in High School and i knew more than the other students and picked it up like a second language. I loved it all... The music director saw my love for music and suggested I check out University of Redlands... he actually MBM there... (Masters) and I auditioned... didn't go well at all... I didn't know how to audition... I also went to Santa Barbara... U of R gave me more money... I took it... 

I was in college I loved theory but hated sight singing/ear training ... still kind of traumatized with that class and  I didn't like the teacher... he kept calling me another name most of my time there... We were 2 mexican girls in the class and she called me the other girls name.. I put up with it until the other girl wasn't in the class the next year and she still called me that name... I couldn't handle it so I dropped my BM in Education... I went to BA in Music with a double in Psychology... 

I learned to perform in front of peers.... hey it was even a requirement to be pretty proficient on the piano so I can kind of play also... When I changed my major all of a sudden I had to catch up with general ed class... see as a BM major all classes were music except a few... a music student overloads every semester except it doesn't seem like it. Instead of taking 4 unit courses they dropped them to 3-2-1 or ever 0 credit classes but they were still required... So I was still taking those but now taking other classes. At first I regretted it but I loved psych too... 

I ended up dropping my psych major. I ended up pregnant had son (could be another story, lol)

So I graduated in 4 yrs with a BA in Music... emphasis on The Clarinet!! 

My senior year I started giving lessons and have been the last 4 year... I love music, it's a passion! But, I've lost some hope... 

My music was encouraged by my dad and he was there supporting me in every step of the way... I chose music because it made him proud... I paid him back with some disappointments but it's a part of life.

So this is my music story... Most of it... the basics on me since I was lil until now... 

Symphonie Concertante in E-flat, Op. 23 By Iwan Muller (1786-1854) for two clarinets and piano

Due to a few requests of listening to me playing... This is a piece a friend and I performed together at a joint recital we had. Getting there was tough... I can't even tell you how hard it was... this was the most important performance for my major... well the performance was just a relief but all the requirements to be allowed to play were lil tests ... lol

This performance was on March 16, 2007
Can I tell you everything was going so horrible that day... I stiil remember the day of the performance... We were in the lil hall getting ready... tuning amongst ourselves and the piano... My mom showed up late and hadn't dressed my son, he was 15 months... My dad couldn't go which made me sad... My sis called me a few minutes asking for some stuff and I was already stressing to add.. Before she called I was panicking looking for another Clarinet to perform in... You see when I there I wasn't fully dressed well not in performance attire so I put my clarinet in my clarinet stand and I went to go change... I put on my gown and I walked passed my clarinet and it tipped over... Wouldn't play... I was 30 mins prior to performance... and then to top it off my mom wanted to see me which I couldn't go out... and then my dress ripped from the back... everything was going wrong... Luckily my teacher came to the rescue and fixed the clarinet although I had a spare coming ... and then she did what she could to minimize the dress appearance... but as I was waiting to go on stage I was freaking out.... I was crying, I felt so much anxiety it was not the conditions you're meant to be in prior to a performance...

Oh and by the way... you're going to hear a baby somewhere in the middle and yea that's my son..
By the way, by the time this piece was performed some of the issues had minimized but so many people staring... and judging... lol So glad that was over with... hope you somewhat enjoyed this piece.

thanks for listening!

30 Day Challenge- My dreams- Day 5

Dear Dreams, 

You have been the ones who have kept me going for such a long time. The only ones that have helped me hope for the better but you know what... I'm going to be frank... I think I will never disappoint anybody or anything as much as I have disappointed you. I've let you go so many times and I just forget to think about you. I get caught up in so many thoughts, specially being a realist and a pessimist that I disregard you as important.... The truth is that you mean so much to me that I sometimes wonder if it's ever fair to give it another shot. I just thinking of the fact that I might disappoint you. 

I'm trying to be hopeful so you don't give up on me but I don't think having you wait for me is also fair. I'm sorry, I gave you a false illusion in life but truth be told with out you I wouldn't have pursued so much in life. And for that I actually owe you more than anybody has ever given me hope for... You will always be apart of me!!!

Me (*sigh*)

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Day 1 - Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror