The challenge actually is: Someone that’s not in your state/country

Ok, well I know plenty of people out of the county but I don't have much connection even though they are fam... most I haven't met even though we maintain contact... Now that I'm about to write this I realized that I found who I kind of missed... These challenges, they really overlap well at least in my simple life... 

Dear Cousins, 

I know you guys are pretty far and out there... it's MN... what's out there anyways... lol jk ... I still remember hearing you speak for the first time a few years after you all left California, you picked up the accent quite well and fast. Anyways, Not much time  goes by that I don't think of you all, those childhood memories we had...and the many moments we also didn't get to have with you sudden departure. I guess remember that summer clearly... Laura you spent a week with us. It was the first time you had ever slept over. It was 1998, I was depressed trying to digest the change to a foreign city. We had made the change from the Beautiful city of San Gabriel, where I didn't talk to people much but knew of them to Fontana where I knew  no one and the streets were empty. That summer we had a blast it was unfortunately when you had to go home... my sis and I asked if you can come over in a week... and of course you said, "yea." We were excited. 

The next weekend came and we started asking but everything was unknown... you guys had literally disappeared from the face of the earth. We were sad we didn't know where you went... It all happened so fast and unexpected... we were left empty handed trying to fill our lil young void of the whereabouts of the fam.. The thing was that we always looked up to you guys. I guess since I was lil, according to my mom. Time went by and we found out where you guys were... Minnesota... over 1500 miles... what the heck happened? How you guys ended there... so many unanswered questions. Now that we're grown up I know so many things and reasons... I know. You guys are out there and got to visit once... in 2007, road trip... I can say the most boring state was Nebraska... it was a long plain - shoot me now I'm bored of a state, Iowa was short and sweet as we got to Minnesota. The Green there was amazing... I love it but I didn't like that it was humid that weekend we were there. Ever since then I've been wanting to go. I've wanted to taste a little freedom from Ca and just be out there for a while. It hasn't happened even though you guys invite all the time... lack of money, you can say.

There have been many times where I just wanted to drop everything here and just go out there... In my past desperation I told my mom I wanted to leave out there maybe look for a job and live out there. She told me go... so I didn't ... hahaha ironic! She said, leave you son here and try it out for a year and see what happens. My music picked up in Ca and I couldn't just drop it. I know it wouldn't be too hard to drop there are Alum associations for SAI for I can find sisters to relate to. And I wanted to go and I still do but I don't know what's holding me up in CA if all of my life I've been wanting to go. As you know I've been with helping out my parents... I'm hoping they'll give me a free trip... if they do... it's "Hello Minnesota" ... They want me gone for a week... just traveling by myself... no family and no son... which is really nice of them. If that does happen I think I want to try and formulate a couple stops... and maybe you can help me. I think going out there as my mom has told me in the past is one of those life defining moments of whether I think I can live out. She knows I need out from Ca and you guys might be the ones to help or maybe it's not even MN where i'm suppose to be. 

I can't wait to see you guys again which we just saw each other a couple weeks ago.. the same reason you left brought you back to CA. But, I know since we're all adult you guys have activities you want to share and those are moments I want to experience. I can't wait... *crossing fingers* this might actually happen sooner than later... God I hope so...  

So keep you fingers crossed you might have me out there for a week plus =D And you will have to entertain me ... I'll sleep in the day and be awake at night ... maybe... well since you all work doing the day anyways... but I do need a break. 

Hope to see you guys real soon... and you can show me the twin cities... 

Reyna

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Day 1 - Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

As Krisko aka GodlessLiberal last night stated he wanted to start a small trend of showing those who mean something to us a lil love... Here is mine  

By his words "I want to start a new trend here. I want you to show a picture of yourself making the heart sign (or any other sign conveying love) and say who you're grateful for here on Xanga. No hating, no infighting, just give some props to people you care for here."

Firstly, I want to really thank Ana (Snoog420) who has been there for the longest. She is truly an amazing person. She is always here to give me advice and a faithful reader of mine. I know we can tell each other the truth and help each other in seeing different perspectives. I introduced her to xanga when things were a little tough in her life. I know we've literally been through thick and thin but that's what makes you amazing!And, I wouldn't want any other person to be my son's stepmom. Thank you for everything. 

Then there is Ray (TrainTrack). I don't know where to start with him. We met shortly when I started coming out of my xanga shell (even though I still hide); he is an amazing person. I've never met such a sweet, kind hearted, giving gentlemen. He has had some curve  balls in his life but the courage he possesses is inspiring. He's optimistic about everything and it sure makes me feel more optimistic about life in general. With him I realize that sometimes the things we go through are minimal and we seem to sometimes maximized the needless... I have to say that with his little ray of sunlight he gives on life just brings a smile to my face. Pessimism no longer lingers as much as it use to. Thank you! 

Then the oh so in/famous Krisko (GodlessLiberal) haha! Well I have to say you are truly a great person to talk to. You are an amazing person going through your own things but nonetheless sweet and opinionated. haha And although we don't agree in some things, it's what makes it great talking to you- that you don't lie, you speak the truth and how you feel about issues. I do admit I was a little motherly haha... but it's because I always feel concern for my friends especially when they're having bad days or are in pain. And I have to say I'm very flattered by what you said. Thank you! And a Big Big *hug* 

Sandra (Boricua_chic_2008) she has gone through some tough moments in her life. And I honestly feel I can relate to much pain she goes through but she is a strong woman who I admire a lot. She always knows what to say to makes things feel better. Amiga gracias por todo! Keep your head up! 

Ritz (Rainboxx)is such a sweet girl. She always has encouraging words to say and is willing to be talk to in tough moments. Thank you for letting me into your life in those tough moments you were going through and trusting me. It means a lot. You are a strong girl and don't let the little things in life get you down. And yes, one day if life permits we'll have dinner and I'll play my clarinet for you! 

Lynn (statelesspilot) He's a nice, funny person. I had never learned about airplanes like I know now although I can't say I remember everything but it's nice that even though I was never able to fly like I wanted when I was little there are people who can. And he always says hello everyday. 

And I'm sorry if I have missed anybody. There are so many of you but these are people who I have more interaction with and have brought a little something off their lives into mine. I greatly I appreciate you all! Thank you for your time, your friendship. words of encouragement and endless support! I love you! 

I dare you to take on the Challenge! 

Many times in life we feel different and alone, lost in chaos... 

Alone and sad

lost in turmoil...

Sometimes we just  give into life without realizing the consequences... 

And other times we get caught waiting and waiting and we don't know who or what is coming our way

But we remain there... sometimes lost in hope...

There are times when we meet best friends and even end up having boyfriends/ girlfriends but time after time of waiting or not knowing what is going on ....

we start walking.... 

We start traveling along side of the train tracks... 

Sometimes we luck out and we're traveling along side 

and other times we're alone.  Most of the time when we're alone there always seems to be the division of where to go...Which way to take and where it might take you...

In trying to figure out where we're going we just keep going... and naturally walking next to the tracks so we don't get lost... we kick rocks, pick a few throw them- you know we all need a little amusement here and there... but keep moving along side those natural curves.... 

We move aside when the train passes 

Sometimes we're mesmerized in amazement like we've never experienced and we're frozen in time... that's what happens in life in a quick moment of happiness and sadness... but as the moment passes we continue to walk ... slowly at times and at a faster rate others...

But no matter what... as we walk along side the train tracks the best part of them is when we're not alone and we feel love. We pick the way we lead our lives together

and when we choose to make a few stops we do them together and enjoy the moments 

We all strive to be happy and sometime even to have love

And sometimes when the train does pass along you're so happily accompanied that you don't notice.

You're in your own little world. 

Being in love is always the best time to walk along the tracks... hand in hand awaiting to the destination you're taking together...

Love is the best detour

which sometimes becomes part of the main route we take in life!

I think I've lost track if I'm actually on par or I'm doubling but to be fair... it's still part of the same day for me until I shut my eyes... In the mentality that I open my eyes to a new day haha... I know .. ok

The person I miss most... 

Frankly, as in miss, like I truly miss someone... I don't miss anybody. I miss talking to people here and there... I enjoy conversations... mainly intellectual ones but I enjoyed talking... not much of a phone person but texter, messenger... sure I can be...

I can say I miss talking to a certain someone but I can always wait a little ...and it happens.  

So hey, 

I miss talking to you. Always enjoy the conversations no matter what. And it's an interesting road so far. =)

I'll talk to you soon enough. 

Love, 

Moi

so yea, I guess that works but I don't consider it a missing letter... oh well... sue me! No, really sue me... 

*****************************************

Day 1 - Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

(I know some people don't believe and that's fine ... I'm not debating whether you might or might not)

I'm just compelled to write about it before I forget ...

Je ne sais pas, D'accord!

Sunday in Mass the Priest was talking about Believing.... and well basically trusting...

He was speaking about people who follow but they don't truly believe. People are always seeking other ways of  "just in case this fails" mentality... I mean it makes sense to rely on something more secure but then why pray if you're already expecting nothing in return... what's the point?

For example: (don't ask for the logistics of the setting... I dont' know)

It's pitch dark and a man falls... He manages to hold on by a branch. He starts praying and asking for someone to come and help him.  

God hears his prayer... And answers him, "Let go. I'm here"

The man is too scared to let go... asks God if he can send someone to help safe him and he let's fear get ahold of him... he panics thinking no one will come... He has a heart attack and dies holding on... 

In fact he was only a few feet from the floor... If he would have listened to the answer of his prayer he would have been saved...

Sometimes, people pray but are not willing to accept the answers to their prayers and blindly go looking somewhere else for answers ... .

So I guess, why pray or seek from a higher being if you're not going to trust the the response... if you believe believe.. but if you don't believe why even go to church or pray... 

So yea... I just needed to say that... =D

Well besides the beautiful day and the breeze just blowing through the house... 

A kid with a happy tummy.... 

Clean room... 

Clean bathroom 

freshly vacuumed living room... 

No dishes in the sink... 

And the sweet soft music of symphonies playing in the background .. 

***Deep Sigh*** 

Perfect!!! 

I was in mass today and as the Priest was talking I was realizing that the words were coming my way differently. I'm starting to see a different way, a different enlightenment to everything that I've known. I don't know if it has to do with the people around me but with that said... I may look forward to add more to what I know and feel about God. It's like everything I'm hearing, everything I'm reading, just everything is fitting together like a puzzle piece. I woke up a bit tired at first but with such ease in my mind. I guess it's a bit conflicting but I feel serenity! I feel peace and I feel happy!

The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

You know I still remember when you use to make me mad... the only time you did something sweet or nice was when I was upset. I didn't realize all the mistakes I was making. You have been the only person I ever allowed deep into my mind. You knew me,you figured me out, you manipulated me, and at the end you used my own mind against me. I was so naive... You made me believe love existed and that that was the only form of love. As I was falling more in love, you were falling less in love... I was truly innocent and pure... I don't know why I was blinded. You desensitized my feelings by pushing the threshold...I let it happen... I thought that if I was there for you, you would eventually come back to me. I lost you before you wife ever came in the picture. You couldn't leave me yet because you wanted someone to be there for you. And I didn't leave you because I wanted you there with me. I just wanted what you promised me... The thing that hurt the most is that you thought I lied and to be frank I never did. You broke promises and you know what? I never did. A promise to a person I love means more than anything. All my promises were done and completed. Call me a liar but when I finally broke one it was a promise I made to myself, the worst mistake I ever did. I don't hate you or ever will... even when i thought I did it was just my sadness pretending so I would not feel anymore. You were gifted in manipulation and control. You did cause me a lot of pain but you were just a the vessel who was acting it out... it was my fault. I didn't have the nerve to even break up with you. I thought if I did I would be alone. Now, I see I should have done it in the end I would still be in the same position except maybe a bit different. I hate to think of the "what-ifs" because there is no point, what happened happened... The pain you cause will never be reversible and truly people who try to come into my life pay the price. But, in the end thank you! NO others words say more than thank you! Without you I wouldn't have learn half of the things I know now... Without you I don't think I would have been able to question things and do what I needed to be more like myself. "weird" I know you still think I am but that's okay... 

BTW - feel free to read the other days if you're interested... They're all linked

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Day 1 - Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

I have awaken in the best of moods. Today just seems like a better day.  At times, I have the negativity and my pessimism run through me which many have been able to tell. But, I try to be optimistic--- try---. A goal in life is to be happy and make others happy, well especially the person who I ever end up with-- to share the rest of my life. 

With that said, there is someone in my mind and we haven't spoken for a few days but he's still in my thoughts.  Miss you and hope all is well! 

Everybody have a beautiful day, nothing like to day to start with a smile! Thank you all for your positiveness! 

And did I mention it's Friday? To many this means many things  Enjoy your weekend as well!