March 28, 2013
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I understand my parents now.
As I deal with my more and more, I understand why my mother and father would do what they did for me and my siblings. I know back in the day parents were a lot more strict and I know I'm a little strict but not as bad they were. Even though now, sometimes I wished I was.
With today's way of living, I can handle an "I hate you" many times over and its because I love my son that much. He's said it a few times and believe me you those first few time it hurt my feelings. I couldn't believe that what I was doing to protect him made him so upset he would yell at me that he hated me.
Never would have said that to my parents myself, I would have been beaten. Lol Not beaten in an abuse way but in an you better understand or you'll get more of this. And I understood. Sure sometimes I was a little scared but would still do what I wanted as a child.
Now that I'm not a child I see things in a different light. I understand more things that I wished I understood when I was young. I was always pretty understand. Well, I was able to comprehend why they couldn't buy me everything I wanted or needed but maybe because I was the oldest. My siblings couldn't... they whined about it. I can just see my son in them.
He acts like a spoiled brat, self righteous ... always wanting it his way. The funny thing is that he acts this way and yet he doesn't get it all. Well sometimes. It's hard being a single mom and bringing up a child. I have more help now. But, the child is still hard and stubborn. Many things he doesn't understand and doesn't want to.
As parents we're going to do what we need to give the opportunity of success. I've cried, been frustrated, and cried some more but I won't stop until the message I want my son to have is embedded. He needs to know what I want him to know. He will one day understand. And that's what keeps me going.
I need to know that when he has kids of his own, he will allow himself to be hated for their greater good! and for his fortune, I hop he wont be a single parent but if he was. He would understand everything even more.
Comments (3)
You are an amazing, loving mom! You're only doing what is best for your son and don't worry, he'll eventually understand where you're coming from.
It is quite an eye-opener when you are no longer the child but the parent. It makes me regret many things I said to my parents when I was a stubborn kid, only caring about getting my own way. I think your son will one day understand.
*hugs*
@heart_leigh - Thank you hun! I feel we all try to do what we feel is best for our children. It's hard at times but we all do our best. I hope he does understand.
@firetyger - I know what you mean.I know I've probably said my share of things I might have regretted. But, I was always the child that felt guilty about everything. Sometimes I felt that was used against haha... And even as a grown up. I know I want my son to have more opportunities. More open minded and feel free to pursue passion.
I know what you mean about stubborn and getting your way... haha my son is a little like that. It's hard for me to stand on keeping my foot down without dancing with pushing it too far. I know he sometimes is willing do stand his ground and as much as I try to sometimes with the circumstances I can't.
Well at least I hope I'm not the only one... You know?
Some calls are tough calls... but I'm sure all parents go through his.