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  • Once upon a time...

    Once upon a time there a land far far away... 

    There live a a beautiful princess and a handsome prince...

     

     

     

     

    Or is it a beautiful peasant girl and a prince charming 

     

     

     

    Or a lovely Princess and her true love... a peasant 

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    BUT 

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    They really NEVER met.... 

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Fairy Tales don't exist... 

     

     

     

     

     

     

    dreaming is futile!!! 

  • 8 stages of love -repost

    The Eight Stages of Intimacy (with each stage and link)

    [To achieve a successful relationship

     [ This is a long post so I am going to separate it into 8 different days or sections which talk about the individual 8 stages of how a relationship is created into intimacy (not sexual) (this wasn't written by me)  and then link them all together]

    [Italics is my writing -FYI]

    Is your relationship everything you ever hoped for? Does it feel like something is missing or maybe it’s just note quite what you are looking for? Do your romances crash and burn before six months?

    The following illustrates the eight different stages of intimacy. With your life partner, achievement of at least seven of the eight leads to relationship success. With friends, coworkers and associates, you’ll match in some, but not all.

    TO ACHIEVE TRUE INTIMACY, TWO IDEAS MUST BE PRESENT: SAFETY CONNECTEDNESS

    SAFETY means that as the relationship grows between two people. Should something frighten, upset or threaten you, your partner becomes the safe haven, the person you seek rather than avoid. Safety is something a person earns through trust and actions.

    CONNECTEDNESS or more commonly chemistry is that feeling that you are in tune with the other person; you have enough common ground to feel comfortable yet enough differences to keep things interesting. True intimacy cannot be achieved without feelings of safety and feelings of connectedness.

     

    If you're just starting to date again, and are tired of unfulfilling relationships and short-term romances (less than six months), the eight stages will help you achieve a loving relationship by giving you a step by step guide to dating. Make a commitment to yourself to explore each stage in-depth with a potential mate before proceeding to the next. Most superficial relationships will fall apart during stages four through six, the very stages most people skip in order to experiment in seven. Then they wonder why the relationship didn't last! When you finish this article, you may be enlightened

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    1. Physical Intimacy (Looks, etiquette, charisma)  (Stage 1)

    2. Aesthetic Intimacy (Arts, style, Culture, General Compatibility)  (Stage 2)

    3. Recreational Intimacy (Shared interests, sports & Hobbies) (Stage 3)

    4. Intellectual Intimacy (Hopes, fears, opinions, beliefs) (Stage 4)

    5. Spiritual Intimacy (Morality, Ethics, shares Existence, & Shared Goals) (Stage 5)

    6. Emotional Intimacy (Feelings, Trust, Security, Safety)  (Stage 6)

    7. Sexual Intimacy (Touching, sexual liberation, Physical contact, Romance, Copulation & procreation) (Stage 7)

    8. Unconditional Love (Love & Support without Strings, Expectations and Regrets) (Stage 8)

     

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    CONCLUSION

    The Stages of Intimacy are a guide.  Relationships like most elements within each of our lives are dynamic.  At times your relationship will have all or most of the stages present. At times one or several may fall to the wayside.  The best way to use the stages is as a checklist for yourself.  If your relationship seems to be faltering, stagnant or unfulfilling, reviewing the stages will help you pinpoint the problem.  Once you identify the problem,you have the ability to solve it.  

    If you are dating and looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, the stages are invaluable.  First, they will make you postpone sexuality until you can satisfy your curiosity about a mate through 6 stages.  Secondly, they will allow you to isolate poor relationships objectively as you venture into each new stage.  Most  divorces and poor relationships could have been avoided through the stages.  What many find out about each other over years, a savvy dater can discover within six to seven months, well before I do becomes I don't. 

    Through the stages, you can avoid heartache by helping yourself discover what is missing and what is causing problems.  Stick with the stages and you will gain satisfaction, love and a close intimate relationship unlike anything you've ever experienced.  -END-

     

     The eight Stages of Intimacy by Laura Lewis 

  • If you were an animal...

    What would you be? 

     

     

    It's obvious, if a pink tiger existed I would be it... different, and unique winky

    I'd get the tigers and the white tigers... . *RAWR*  

     

  • heartbreak

    A heart break is one of those feelings that just leaves like you've fallen off a cliff.... You know you're falling you just don't know how low and how hard you're going to hit. it's the sinking feeling... you can turn anywhere but you can't do anything because there is nothing to do. 

    You want a helping hand but no one is ever really available to talk. You feel alone. You don't think anyone understands you. We DO!!! Much more than you think. You want to talk to that person but they wont let you. They might want to but at the same time you think they hate you. One did something wrong and it's easier to point the finger at each other. 

    or just as easily take the blame and the heartbreak.

    "It's my fault, I'm sorry"  

    And you wished that they would understand how you felt 

    but the truth was that as much as the person feels like this, they know that when something went wrong. There was probably pain, manipulating, no trust, lack of communication (one or all of them or other symptoms)- in the end what do you have?

     

    Nothing...  

     

     

     

    nothing... 

     

    you question yourself and think... can things have gone differently....

     

    maybe.... 

     

     

    maybe not... 

     

     

    What if that one instance in time didn't happen?

     

    What if I would have loved more?

     

    What  I tried harder?

     

    What if maybe you wouldn't have let go like you promise? 

     

    What if... 

     

    what if... 

     

    what if... 

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    instead ...

    you grab your little broken heart and hold it tightly together. You slowly let it mend, if you could sew it together I'm sure you would but  with time it will heal. 

     

     

     

    You will be ok. You're not alone. 

    You ARE NOT alone!! 

     

    So many of your friends have felt that pain yet we continue to try an isolate ourselves and pretend. Pretend everything over and you slowly kill yourself more inside. 

     

    Love is not one of those things to put off lightly. Love doesn't change like the wind. Love doesn't come and go. Love doesn't change the the river. Love, true love is accepting and a choice to make to love. Love yourself and love another. 

     

    Love is about fighting for that inner peace, about forgiving a person even if they harmed you. LOVE...... 

    Love never fails... it never fails because you don't let it fail... 

     

    You do everything in your power to make it work. When you love, you love.  Love for who and what they are. Learn everything and how they can change and accept it. If you can't accept a person for who they are, you will never learn true love. 

     

     

    There comes a point when loving means letting go. Letting a person make out what they want in life. Self discovery.

     

     

    The best way I've learned about love and pain is to always accept people for who they are. Always love people no matter what. Even, if they caused you pain love them for their qualities not any bad memories. No bad memories should get the best of you.

    Hold no grudges because it only takes away from the beauty of life. And it makes you bitter.

    If you did the harming do your best to not be a creeper but try to find the forgiveness.  

     

    I know these are ideal. It will not always work. I'm a fortunate person when it comes people especially those who have had a positive or negative impact. My goal is to always try and understand people and why they do what they do.  People do not quite understand me because I'm a little weird. I always try to be nice and friendly so I earn forgiveness not for the person for me. People are important even if I''m awkward socially but I love and respect people and that's how I like any ending/ beginning. Acceptance and to cherish everything moment that had to do with the life. 

     

     

  • November 5th- memory lane

    Well this date for me has always had the most meanings good and bad I guess... it's a date that has always had some significance regardless of the passing of years... 

     

    Since today was a rather strange date where just everything was let lose, it's what life is. I like honesty and the truth. 

     

    Today, 10 years ago I had my first boyfriend ever...  I still remember his scrawny self with those nerdy glasses, lol. I remember the moment he was going to ask me out. So happened that a friend of my friend's was absent, so in the moment he was going to ask me out, she dragged me to the restroom. I never was a fan of a group of girls to the restroom but I couldn't say no. I was 16, and having friends was hard enough. Can I remember what I was wearing? No. Do I remember what he was wearing... actually I'm almost sure I don't. All I remember was his face as I was leaving. No time the rest of the day.... it ended up being over the phone... I still remember the first awkward kiss as he tried to surprise me in the band locker room. it was a kiss kiss, he surprised me and ended up being a kiss in the back of my head. My innocence surpassed knowing anything about kisses... I guess it was one of those moments when you just enjoyed talking, hanging out and if there was holding hands you had the world. I was young and naive... There comes a point when all is loss and nothing is the same. Somethings can strengthen a relationship and others weaken then. Things  were great for a year or a year and a half... everything after that were tears...  It lasted just shy of the 3 years. 

    November 5th, 2005 - I was about 8 months pregnant. I was having my baby shower. Expecting my baby monkey. The true bearer of my heart. The one who stole my heart and made me feel like Xena the warrior princess... I would do anything to protect him  inside and outside outside of me.  Literally!!! To this day he is the only loyal one to me. No matter what he is the one that gives me hugs and kisses... and he'll ask me if I'm ok when my eye suddenly gets a little piece of trash in there. 

    Other than one of my favorite movies being V for Vendetta... everybody knows the famous... "Remember, remember the 5th of November..." 

    For me it was just a memory lane advocate. And, yes that's it... many people have much more important things to their memory lane...

    And well today I'm suppose to go to a party with family friends. It's an adult only and it's in my home home town where I grew up so I know I can steer away for a little. Well that is if I can or if I would be seen. 

     

     

  • My first secret's mention-crushes

    Well technically there was 2 but only one actually said me 

    I am very flattered. heart

    Thank you for breaking down my sn!!! 

     

    @CONFESSIONSandSECRETS thank you ladies for letting us be crushed on. =D 

  • I Met a Xangan.

    So Wednesday started off as a not so good of a day. I had 4 students cancel, I was suppose to have dinner with 2 friends and they couldn't make it, I was going to meet another friend and for some reason he canceled too... So it was a day full of disappointment.. I was just hanging out in starbucks, all my lonesome. I mean I do that anyways but I had expectations and those all went wrong... 

    So this very sweet Xangan said he would drive to meet me. I thought it was very nice of him. :)  

    His name is Johnson. 

     

     

    We met in the Ontario Mills Mall. He's a very nice, sweet, guy. He is the very first xangan I ever get to meet in real life. And he lives so close. Well about an hour and a half away from where I live but I was already an hour closer. 

    He had surprises too... 

    Remember how the other day I had said "I want me some Sugar Daddy"? - I didn't mean I wanted me a real sugar daddy, although...

    haha jk ...

    So he surprised me with :

    5... which apparently was a mission to obtain.... who knew they were hard to find. shocked

    He had a good memory. I'm very forgetful... lol 

    He we hung out talked... the mall closed early so we were leaving. But we watched a movie instead. It was a good movie. 50/50... so sad but so worth. (sorry, I cried so much) Put so much into perspective and how I didn't understand some stuff. But, I loved the movie. And so we left and as we were just saying good bye he had one last surprise... He said what he told you all he was going to say... lol and gave me: 

      

    I wasn't expecting anything. I had forgotten he won these in a xanga contest. One of Lisa's contests... happy So I wore them! 

    Can you guess who he was/is?? 

     

  • I "choose" to not love you...

    So, I just did a pulse asking a question... and like any question you always get a variety of answers... 

    "Do you think Love is forever?" and those who answered agreed with "I think love is a daily choice"

    And even though I can understand how or why one might think love is a choice, I've always been driven more by my heart than actually being aware. I don't have to choose on daily basis. I just love, I don't think about it. When I love, I love unconditionally and maybe it's where I have gone wrong. If I say "I love you" ... I mean it forever no matter what... the hard part would be trying to convince my heart after to forget about it... is this possible?

    And I'm not frankly talking about the love of "God" because all believers believe He loves you forever and those that don't believe just don't. I'm talking about whether you can love another everyday. Even though, today in mass they spoke about the 2 most important ways to get to heaven and one is to love your neighbor and the other is to love God. If you can do both it would leave you in good standing. But,  Sometimes it might be a challenge. People (most) can love God but they will not love themselves enough to love other than themselves. They don't know how to love and respect others. I know people may anger you but is it enough to doubt the love you hold? 

    I guess I've always been the hopeless romantic type but thinking about it more now... I'm more hopeless... 

    It was just a little tough thinking that people who have come into my world have chose to let go or rather not love... I know it's for the best but just the thought is a bit hurtful. We know there are better people out there, it's just that now I'm realizing there has always been someone better for the other person than for me. It doesn't always work out but love is a choice so go forth and choose your better choice. 

     

    So, when you believe love is a choice, can it be easier to fall out of love? Can some one teach us how?

    @SirNickDon @Rainboxx @LKJSlain  @grammarboy @livexlovexlaughter @snoog420

     

     

  • How are you today? I really want to know....

    In daily life we're always conflicted or gifted with many emotions... sometimes happiness, sadness, love, shock, surprise, dismay, anger.... and so many many more which I'm sure you're aware of and no use in jotting down... 

    I'm great. Just a little saddened with news but great none the less.... 

    How are  you today? (Spill your guts, I'm here to listen.) How do you feel? 

  • Dating online (xanga, FB, etc)

    Well us being fellow Xangans and getting so close to each other I know we're all aware relationships start on here. Some unfortunately lead to heartbreak or misleading. We know there are many outlets of socializing. I know that it's hard enough meeting people even if you know the person or not.... 

    I've met a person when Myspace was alive... and then again the same person in FB. I've dated 2 others from Fb, was in a xanga LDR.  I even went on a online dating site but I took it down, I just chatted with people but there is no way I would ever trust those people. I don't know what to say about any of them, I've met great people but it always hurts a little you know... There is only one relationship in which I had never met in person but was hoping at one point in my life. The last one and the feelings are/were unexplainable and the situation is so indescribable that I'm still mystified. 

    Between, my son and the little or not going out at all, meeting people is hard. 

    So, TV says 20% (1out of 5) of relationships will start online, do you agree or disagree?

    (I know more have started in mine, but how do you measure, only US, people with computers, or people with no comp/internet access, oh lovely stats... how do you come about?)

    And I was wondering has Xanga been your only socializing site or do you meet or reacquaint through other's sites??

    Where'd ya meet your gf/bf?