I am just waiting and waiting... I haven't been this bored in a while. The days haven't been this long in forever. I almost want to sleep because they take far too long....It seems as though they've slowed down specially for me. I'm a very impatient person. I have some things to do but it doesn't take over the thoughts in my mind which keep me preoccupied. It always feels as those moments of happiness rush through like the clock shows no regard for the moments of happiness before they're over, I feel robbed... but we all know it's not true... then comes the other times where it feels like an unsynced broken metronome, I feel without rhythm 1.............................2.........................................................3............................................................

.........................................4................................................................................................. just trying to figure out where the second is going to lie. I'm trying to snap my finger and we're not dancing the beat together. It hates me. i know it sounds so stupid but it's literally what it feels like. I can't imagine what will happen when I find out if I got a job or not. 

 

then other times I just feel so stressed because my son sometimes doesn't want to listen and he gets in a stubborn mood. And I can't help but to feel like a horrible mother. It has to be sometimes I did or didn't do but it's so darn stressful. It shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't be crying like if I was helpless. Even though that's how I feel sometimes. But, it's my fault... he's had me all this time. At least he's not resentful anymore when I do have to leave when I have to do stuff but the hard part is getting him out of the house when we need to do stuff. 

And times keep going, he's getting older and people have told me... well if he acts like a little teen now imagine when he's actually a teen. See, he grew up and was apart of when my brothers went through their rebellious stages and God knows my parents were never able to control them. We lost all three. I think the hardest to get back is the young one but I've slowly taken a lot of bad habits he got which have been a lot of work but it doesn't make the long process any easier, obtaining more things but the schools and friends and wants and needs from what they have. Sometimes I feel so alone and other times I don't. I don't know. And a phrase that I've heard has always come into my mind that I've heard a few people tell me... But, I'm not going to mention it right now because it doesn't change anything. People can say their whatever they want, others can get sparked on why they love kids and the challenge, and others why they never want to have kids. Whatever! Just another person, their life and what they want to do but never let what others think affect you. [What I keep telling myself over and over and over... You'd think I'd understand by now] You end up in a hole where no where to go. A person trapped in an idealistic society and a world that doesn't exist yet one burdening down on your shoulders... Why? Because I know... I've been there. Goody too shoes... I was ... and it pushed me to two ends I never want to see. I was unhappy with both. When we allow others to tell us what is expected or what we do is not good or that we are not good standing with the Lord we never learn to forgive ourselves and only live under the shadow of those that tell us that we're no good or ever will be. 

Sometimes they wonder why you're damaged in your heart or why you stopped caring about opinion or why their ideal are worthless and why you don't care or why you don't let people know you or why you don't have close friends...  You wonder why some people have no friends... Because they already watch their backs from those closest to them.... forget about enemies... those probably have more respect than those you at one point thought they were friends. Friends are meant to help you and tell you what you did was good or bad but not judge and help you through it...but those [friends] are the most judgemental. You become judgmental mainly in yourself and you judge the world because every little thing you are judging is what you see a flaw in yourself. 

I don't even like seeing the mirror. All I see are tainted red button nose and eyelids of crimson- no need for eye shadow at times... what's the point? That's just seeing my face... not to mention the actually ugly part of my figure. Yes, please give me advice... that's exactly what I'm asking for. Fix it. Some find it so easy to mix the minor issues in life and think that will fix the internal. False. In fact there is nothing to be fixed. 

The biggest mistake was growing up so naive in the wrong time era. I don't know how that blind fold was kept on so longwith so much so visible. I see such young kids with so much knowledge of sh*t that I wonder why I wasn't corrupted by that, then at least I would understand everything so much more. I guess it's part of growing up with some innocence or stupidity (the previous doesn't exist-it's ignorance) And why blame something that doesn't have blame when everything that happens in life is but our faults for choices... wrong and right ones. But, shhhh.... the world only sees the wrong ones or at least the ones they point a finger at you.

You know when you get that look and they don't say anything but it says everything and you know what they're thinking.... you just want  to scream at their mind ... "Shut up!!! Just SHUT UP!!!! I don't need you to be saying or thinking it.... I already  know... you think it but I live with me."  

It doesn't always feel fair but IS IT WHAT IT IS.... 

I feel so ungrateful right now... I'm the happiest I've been in life and here I am complaining, whining and crying like a little baby... F*** it!! 

 

 

I feel a little better... just a little... 

 

I'm not around much. I know I can't help it. I love the community I truly do but I'm working on trying to get my life on track. Well, not really, but yes? lol  I'm mainly enjoying the little moments life gives me. I truly feel blessed and happy. 

For the 2 month of celebration which was not titled we just watched the Super Bowl (my first one,well that I ever watched... Call me crazy but football is fun to watch [sometimes] but I just don't get it. the only sport I just don't get... I don't know why.) And we ate home made Burgers by my love and enjoyed a whole weekend together. We went to a concert where 2 of my students made an honor band and it happened to be at my former University and we took my son. It was a lovely concert and so much musical talent. 

I'm happy my son Danny actually wants to go to school and looks forward it and is always waiting for the weekends and/or thursdays just like me. . I look forward to the weekends as well. 

Right now the family is working on looking where to go, we don't want to be where we're living. We like the area (even though we're far from everything), we like the house, the quiet, the wind, the peace, the fresh air, but we don't like the landlord much. It's best we find another place and stick it through like a family. 

I'm trying to get a job. I don't know yet what it will be but it's something that I need to do. I need money and it's time I grow up. Part of the reason I didn't have a job was yes I had other responsibilities but I loved my flexibility to be available regardless if I had something to do or not. I loved the freedom. People talk about money, and I guess I got so use to living on nothing that I conformed to. Why? I don't know but I want everything to be taken care now... I need to straighten everything out if I want my future to get better. Yes, the fact that most of my life is chaotic and unfixed was a huge reason why I also didn't let people get into a relationship with me. It's an incredible debt that I keep to myself. I hate the thought of causing a burden which is why something serious was impossible. 

I know I can do it all on my own but since I expected me to be by myself for so long I didn't care about it and it would resolve when it does. Now, things have suddenly changed and I'm still caught with the uncertainty but it will be ok. When I was young I had dreams. So I went to this beautiful campus. I don't regret going there, I still go because I love the peace I feel there. But, thinking back I could have gone somewhere cheaper and I wouldn't be here but I wouldn't have had those experiences or been with my high school friends in college. I made very few friends but my trouble is I don't let people too close. I don't know why... I guess I feel I'm going to fail them anyways why give them such disappointment anyways. If There is no closeness it wont hurt as much. Just simple. K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid) People hate complication and I think I  add complication. It's funny because my sibs make fun of me more than accept me but it's ok I've learned. But, I guess it's time I become normal and do something to fix it. Right now I'm playing a small waiting  game and if it doesn't work then I'll just go apply somewhere else. I don't like applying in multiple places typically. I do one at a time because I hate having to choose. I guess it's always been easier to be rejected, it builds strength, you know? it sucks... sure why not but you learned but to get so attached. I suppose there are things in life you learn. And there are more things people will dislike about you. 

Anyways, Ugh... that's why I don't write because i always go into other things. 

The truth is that I've met this wonderful man that loves me.... enjoys spending time with me and my family... who has the patience like no other, who doesn't mind being around my son. And trust me, he needs to have patience with me [and my son]. I'm strange/weird, mean, and idk how to describe myself. I'm nice sometimes ... just sometimes. I think he's met the real me [finally] and he's still here. 

My son asks when he is going to come back the day he leaves. They play video games a lot well sometimes. They spend a lot of time together. My son likes attention. It's nice watching my son so happy.   

We are genuinely happy and by "we" I mean "I" am but he can speak for himself. Life is perfect. He is perfect. Life is the way it should be. The next weekend is a new step. I get to met his bro. I'm a bit nervous ...sure, but very excited. I love him and hope everything is perfect. Well nothing will ever be but I'm happy with how imperfectly perfect they are. 

The truth is that it's the happiest I've ever been in my life and the best part is that I have someone to share this happiness with...

So When I wrote my last post "He's my Boyfriend" was because I saw that he felt comfortable enough to reveal that I was his Girlfriend not that I needed reassurance.. he shows me how he feels and I show him how I feel and we don't need to make it public (well a lot, haha) But, it's nice to tell the world or at least THE XANGA world!! 

So yes on Dec 5th was our our first month as a couple together. When I saw his post I teared up... he's amazing... did you see the video he made on his post?!?!... wow!! He's a total romantic!! So on that lovely thursday he posted, I texted him first instead of writing on his post... I preferred telling him how sweet it was rather than him reading it on the post... 

So this funny guy sends me the weirdest text ever... haha 

"I miss you baby! Do you miss me?" (He never asked that before... felt like something was up but didn't know what.) 

"Aww baby! Of course I miss you! What kind of question is that! " 

"*sigh* I wish I could see you right now. Hug you. Hold you."  (aww... so sweet!) 

"Awww babe! You don't want to see me right now haha I'm a mess but I wish I would hold you, hug you and kiss you!" (I'm honest... haha! 

Didn't expect this next text...

"Really? Go outside then" ... (in my head I was smiling a little, in my head I felt like I had a wtf look... a little confused... most people who have said that don't know where I live... haha ... I stalled and was confused and didn't want to go outside if it meant getting my hopes shattered... I take my time a little and slowly head outside... 

HE WAS THERE!!!!!! 

He drove the hour and a half to my house after work!! Crazy guy!!!  

He caught me by total surprise ... *smh* but I was happily surprised!! 

My Favorite book w/ a special dedication

My house was a total MESS... O_o ... it was late and I was thinking cleaning all day friday... I had a feeling I might see him Saturday... haha! But, he was here 2 days early!! I don't mind at all,  I loved it... He also asked me if I'd go out with him and his friends friday... Yay, he wanted to introduce me to SOME of his friends!!  I guess I was/am doing something right?! Woot!  

So we went to a Dinner at his friend's house and they had a movie planned (that whole night was a total mission full of driving haha... I thought I drove a lot but I don't know how he does it! We went to the theater... the movie sucked... but I liked the company so it was ok... 

At the movie theater waiting to see "Devil Inside"

While inside the midnight happened ...

Awww... he likes writing on my hand  and it was my birthday! 

   

On my b-day he made me breakfast...  It was delicious!

He has a way in the kitchen!!It was like an Omlet but it ended up being scrambled  Yummy!!!  This man can cook and knows his way around the kitchen very well! 

Be jealous!  haha jk but Be Jealous! 

 

When I was young I loved batman!! He got me the complete works of the series!! We started watching them together. Oh, to be kids again. 

Check Mate!

So after everybody ate, I decided we'd take the kids to the park. My cousins were over and they entertain Danny so I thought a nice relaxing time for me would be good!And it give me time to played Chess with Johnson... I'll play any time I get a chance... they do they "Practice makes better..." and that is what I want. So by accident... I WON!!!!! He's never been easy on me but I was lucky and I won... YAY!! I hope that he doesn't get tired of playing with me. 

01-08-2012 

Sunday we all went to Mass... and came back home. We made taquitos de Carne Asada. And he plays Wii all the time. I went to my room where the console is set up. Then I think I took a nap while they played... Or danny came fell asleep on me and he was sitting next to me and probably napped... It felt like a long day. But, a great day. 

My brother  came over ... it had been my nephew's birthday on the third and they wanted to do a cake at my house. I was done with my bday ... I mean it's usually like a 10 min celebration anyways so I told them to do something for him. I knew Saturday was mine and they could do it for the baby. 

The two birthday people... My self and Baby Roland

 So, I was waking up and my bro calls me and says that they're going to cut the cake for the baby and to hurry. I was ready to sing...  for him! 

To my surprise they included me in the cake as well ... Baby turned 1 and I turned 27 

So sad, no longer in mid 20s... now late 20s... I feel so old... I know it's just a number but I'm in my late 20s ...

Yay, cake! 

My dad sang "Esta son Las Mananitas" 

They put cake on my face and Johnson took a pic.. nice... there's  proof! 

Wiped my face and cut the cake! 

The end of the night 1-8-2012

We ended the night by listening to my dad and bro play guitar and violin and sing. Fun times, this whole weekend!! I can't get enough of them! Everything just seems better and more perfect. I'm just genuinely happy! 

 

 

 

 

=D

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, 

Well, 

I don't know how to start this post... I'm talking to myself trying to figure it out and it's not working... I've wondered for days how I would and I put it in the back of my head ...  

 

I know I've been writing about my feelings here and there and how happy I am what not... coincidence?! No, it's not!! 

So, I met this person who I had kept nameless for personal reasons, his privacy, and well I wasn't ready to reveal because I was just to happy keeping the glory to myself. Or the attention I got from him. About 2 months ago, I physically met a person, a xangan who also happened to have a crush on me and declared it on secrets and was my first secrets' mention which by the time that issue came out he had just told me he was crushing on me. 

We met for the first time and for some "odd" reason more than we can explain we really enjoyed each other's company. I think that even though we do not quite live so close to each other we have managed to see each other on weekly basis. I think he kind of likes me (KIND OF) because he texts me every morning  oh and he posts a song everyday  I think that us being hopeless Romantics met at a right tim and we're not so hopeless... now we're just helpless because we can't help it but we so happy with each other... I don't know if you can see through the mushiness but I feel free with him ...

So after seeing each other and meeting he decided to ask ME out on an "official date" which was pretty AMAZING!! Most people consider the small encounters as just leading into more but don't think about an actual date or I don't know... But he asked me out and he gave me the most beautiful flowers and yes I kind of teared up. 

After that... 

I took him to meet part of my family which was at a cousin's 15anera... and I was saving his chair... everybody was eyeing me because they really wanted that chair but I'd give them the look "IT'S MINE!!!!"  and they'd be like "ok, ok... just checking" no not really but I did get that look... it was alright. People were surprised and people asked me is he your boyfriend and I'd say "no, he's my friend" and smile... and they'd give me a raised eye-brow look. I introduced him to my son... if you all didn't know, I'm a single mother... My son had my camera and looked at him and just snapped a shot of him and walked away... My son is a very jealous type of little boy, clingy and well he's been the only one in my life his whole life. So, for me it was a pretty good accomplishment that my son didn't throw a tantrum at the sight of a stranger sitting next to his momma... 

 

A very cold evening ... 

 

He had, already,in month, of meeting/talking, impacted me so much and i felt literally Swept off my feet but  ... But he actually thinks I'm clumsy... "Girl, you be trippin'" Yea, I kept tripping...  Smooth, I was not!!! 

About a month ago... well actually exactly a month ago... we were trying to meet and see each other and we were thinking the park but it was far too cold so he knew of a Starbucks that I always went to while in Fontana... "My own special starbucks"  haha so he asked if we can go there... I mentioned of some closer to his exit but "no dice" he wanted to go to MINE.. so we meet there and I'd say we were there for a REAL long time... I'm surprised he's not bored of me  but I guess there is time for that. (I would put pics but he's the one who owns them and I haven't signed any release form haha ) jk there are a few... 

So I wanted to do something nice for him which I didn't know what so I knit him a scarf... Being impatient as I am ... I made it fast and well I gave it to him on a chilly day which happened to be December 5th when we were in starbucks. It was time to leave, Starbucks was closing ... it was cold outside...  I already had his other scarf he had and we didn't quite want to part ways even though we'd been there talking for hours...

So we went in a warmer place, my car. I don't quite remember what happened  or how ...but he whispered something to me...  and then he asked me be his girlfriend... the first time I was formally asked to be a girlfriend face to face... of course... I said "NO" ... wait different person... *cough*  I mean I said, "YES!"  THE END... jk 

 

So @Cucumber_Melonhead and Pinktiger335 are officially boyfriend & girlfriend well for a month now but to your knowledge since NOW! 

We spent Christmas and New Year's with my family and he's great... He and Danny get along so well... I even have time for naps haha... Actually I'm sure after spending time with Danny he needs naps too... Danny kept him busy the whole time...

 

So that's the news...

 

Oh and I asked him to teach me chess... so we are nerds and play chess a lot 

and yes we'll hold hands while playing ... 

oh and he made me "Queen" Officially even though by name I'm already one... 

Jk, thank you for reading the madness!! 

 

So I was going to write about this last week the same day I wrote my other post about (marriage) but I was a little busy and therein became more preoccupied and mostly stayed off xanga...  Needed some time off ... 

 

So anyways........

I was listening to the radio that morning and there was a discussion... Of course it all comes down to trust of your loved one, your SO, your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife... 

Call it snooping or creeping around.... Not the "creeping around" where you might be with someone else at the same time but then again that can lead to the mistrust and lack communication... and cheating and blah blah blah... I'm sure many of us have been on that side ....

We all have many accounts when it comes to social networks, emails, interactions with people all over the place but is it ok that your SO is looking around your stuff? If they trust you, should they have nothing to worry about? And if they don't trust you should it be their right to look through your stuff... 

When is it right to look through stuff? Should they ask?

When does "what's my stuff is your stuff and what your stuff is my stuff" start??  Or does that even exist...  Now a days we each have our stuff, buy our own stuff .....what rights of privacy are you giving up or are you entitled to when you have a SO?

 

 

What's your take on "YOUR" stuff... when can they see... should they trust you and not ask... or reserve the right to still you? Does it go both ways? 

 

Should you give away your passwords?

This year to me has been many things... Started off dull and somewhat interesting but it was mainly full of small constant conflict which then you would think I loved personal drama (personal and in my own) We never expect things to change but they do... In fact this isn't really about the year that has passed, it's gone and we leave the past where it belongs, behind us. 

I met this person, I don't know if it was luck or chance but I met this person. He has therein changed so much in my life. 

 

When I met you I was giving up on the whole thing of ever finding someone. Not because I was but because for the first time I started to realize something. I was being too selfish and "I wanted, wanted wanted" what I couldn't have. It was years since someone called me "theirs" and was proud to show it. In fact, that's what I wanted more in life. I slowly started realizing that I was unhappy not with the world because the world doesn't change but with me. I just utterly was repulsed at the sight on my own being why because that's how I felt the world viewed me. I was going through my moments but much better than I have ever been able to handle. I got to the point when I knew that I had to change my point of view not because it mattered but because I as letting my self sink again. My thought process changed and realized the stupid little mistakes and my inflicted self downing was doing to do. I blame myself for somethings I had no control over. That's when I said "F" it to what happened in the past and I'm just moving forward from whatever day I'm on and no looking back. Which is how you found me "bored out of my mind" and I really was. I was on xanga and I was on FB and I talking to people -chatting it up- but bored and until you came on and we talked for hours that day. For me chatting was just chatting and it was the first time I had logged on to that account in a long while. I don't know how it happened after that because it's a small blur but the encounters have all and every single one of them been each much more exciting. I can't really remember the last time I truly felt like this. I can't remember the last time I sincerely felt so much happiness. I have never ever trusted someone like I have you so far. And, call me crazy because I know people will say I have left myself susceptible to a wound more than I can ever imagine but it's a risk I'm willing to take.  

All I can say is thank you for everything for now. My gratitude is endless. You've already came in and done more than so many people I've known. You are special and with that regard you deserve so much. I hope, it's worth it for you. 

I am endlessly appreciative and grateful... 

I hate the feeling of helplessness but I love the feeling of support and being loved, accepted and wanted. 

Thank you for showing me hope in what I thought was gone!!  

Currently Funny People By Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Eric Bana, Jonah Hill see related Currently Under Pressure (DMD Single) see related     So today I was wondering about marriage ... yea random thoughts come to my mind.    Well as little girls it's weird how the thought of marriage gets involved at such a young age. The weird part is that even though your parents would like to have you marry at some point the thought of really thinking about it would be scary, sex haha (off track, Ooops) Ok, it's nice being so naive in life and not knowing what it (marriage) involves you just know it's something you will want one day. A husband and  [insert random number of kids], a house  but you don't know really know why you want it, it's just normal to want something like it since young.    Now, boys on the other hand don't grow up with the thoughts of being hooked into a marriage. It's probably the last thing in their minds (most or all). Boys grow up wanting other things in life, cars, and who knows what. Just having fun and doing what ever boys do. Boys when they think of girls they think "cooties" or as they get older "nagging" ... I don't know what stereotypes (or real life experiences) they have on women.   It gets to a point where 2 people start thinking about not wanting to be alone for the rest of their life while others prefer to have the single life. The thought of marriage can be so illusive but peaceful and wonderful when you have that person you think you "love"... is it "love"? Is it the same feeling or different than you have ever felt with someone else... Can you make it work? Are you committed enough to make it work from the get go? Would you let it fail or how would you prevent it from failing?  Just as many don't think about what it entitles just the feelings that come with it... and well the excitement: the unexpected of "the question" and the joy of "the ring" ... is that what your life climaxes to? To wait for someone to pop the question, for you to ask the question or to just give the answer? ("Yes, I will" etc) Many people just want that so much when they actually get into a marriage everything changes and then they whine and complain  how nothing is the same anymore...  Is that why marriage fails because you have different expectations of what life really will be? Or really because you don't know what happens after...We don't know for certainty but in your mind you should start preparing. Your dream never included that you would have to wake up early and make breakfast, or lunch, or dinner (for either party, depending on work schedule) because suddenly you needed to include someone else's agenda and not just yours... not to mention washing, dishes, cleaning, .... and what if you end up pregnant.... It happens you know... Kids... sleepless nights, poop, throw-up... what about when kids get sick and cry all night: Colics, ear infections, fevers, colds and every other unexpected thing.   I guess don't aren't part of the dream. It's where people fail because they didn't know they suddenly had to have other obligations... yes OBLIGATIONS.  I'm not married or know what a marriage is like so I'm asking how people feel about what they've grown up thinking and feeling about marriage and how you feel about it now.  So my question is: What does Marriage mean to you and why? Why get married? What expectations do you have for yourself or for your future spouse... (If your married: Is it what you expected?) Has divorce ever been an exit plan?

 

These last couple of days were just like a dream... 

They were fun, and got lots of spoons full of loved-ones' sugar.  The way it felt was the most amazing feeling AND the best part was that it was able to be recreated yesterday:

Playing Chess (and always losing haha  )

Guitar hero

Park

Burger King

more Guitar Hero

Lots and lots of talking... 

Seeing my two favorite people play warmed my heart made me happy and don't want it to end. 

If days like these last couple days meant having them like that for the rest of my life... I truly wouldn't mind that at all. 

This morning when I woke up, I woke up a little sad. haha there was a presence missing. But back to life and reality it is. Kind of...  

The little details of life and the small moments of happiness which actually started a week ago today going to the movies with my son. We all were able to accommodate a movie date and he loved it. This is what he and I needed. Something so unexpected but just perfect. I really thank God for everyday and all the happiness, joy, love, excitement, honesty, trust, communication that we have. Nothing unlike anyone to ever feel as such but maybe everyone has an opportunity to have it all. I can't imagine myself to be the only one to be able to have it all. Life has spoiled me. 

The best gift was these December 25 & 26...and well the beginning of 27th but not to say the surprises I received weren't thoughtful... I'm so thankful! I received sheet music and my Clarinet bible... haha everything was just perfect. I'm so happy... I received more than I deserve!

Life is perfect and nothing can put me down at the moment! 

In my household we haven't focused on the presents for years. Call it the recession that disabled all of our pockets or maybe we realized something?! I think the kids are starting to see some different point of view of not being bitter without the expensive gifts.  We haven't had a Christmas tree in years, we haven't put up lights up in a while. While the house isn't as bright as the other houses, it doesn't make my house less happy or less bright. We have that light in our hearts and that's more than some people can express. 

We have a family unity and even though we're not always there with each other every holiday, we're all there there. 

Don't get me wrong, I would never put down people who have the lights up. In fact, one day, if life permits that joyful feeling of having it all will come back into the home but until it does,  our love is what holds it together. I don't really care if there is presents seeing as Christmas is about something more but adding to the spirit just helps create a bigger atmosphere. 

The reds, the greens, the wreaths, the tree... the colors... the little nativity scene, I hope to one day have.   

Christmas is about the beginnings  and the birth of the light in our hearts. That's one of the meanings it has. To let go of the fears, the pain and suffering and let today be the first day of the warm happiness to fill your hearts and brighten the rest of your year. 

This year has certainly been an interesting one and I am thankful. I am very happy how it's ending and still bringing more joy. I can't express the happiness I have within but I know this is special and I don't want it to leave. 

I do thank God and haha you post the sweetest things.

 

 

I am always one to read relationship articles and how to make something work, what to do to change attitudes... You know the basics... I'm no expert in relationships in fact I've been in less than most people well not most people people there are some who have been in none. I guess what I have learned is to know what you don't like... Having a list of requirements of needs of a person will not always work but it sure helps to pin point but they're not quite deal breakers. 

If you know what you don't like in people from the get go, then you definitely can pinpoint deal breakers. Those will be thing that will fire up an argument. It's not something you find out from one day but as you notice manerisms of the person and how they are. I guess that's why we go through a "get to know you" phase so that you learn part of who they are and what characteristcs are tolerable and which aren't.  

See, I've always loved psychology and human behavior but I hate reading so many facts... I bore myself to sleep. Instead, I do study people. I guess it happened when I was so quiet and couldn't get myself to talk to anybody so I could notice actions and reactions of people. It's kind of fun to watch people. Yes, I would notice couples and you definitely tell by their postioning in their bodies and actions and reactions how they feel about each other. I guess in that sense I was fortunate that I was never noticed or I would be considered a creeper; I just used my peripheral vision. I'm no creeper. I guess this is where people who feel or are experts, are experts by studying and seeing behavior but not experts because they're experience it. Well some must experience it - I HOPE!!! - When you experience something, you're blinded and it's not so easy to think or judge for yourself. You're just happy with what's going on, you're hopeful and have faith something will spark so the little details of positioning and other small details aren't noticeable. (most of the time) 

I guess the issue we all come to puzzle ourselves with is "The One" Sure there are people who we're more compatible or have a stronger connection. Lucky for us we're able to build a stronger connection with people now finding more compatibility over the net and not letting the physical aspect (pressure)  blind you but it will also be a factor added when you actually meet in person. Attractions, pheromones will all be components to know if the person who you have fallen for is actually one you can still handle being with. Sometimes, you can meet the person and they may not be it at all. But, let's be positive and think that it all goes well *crosses fingers* then you just continue building. Love, is a wonderful feeling, and probably the best in the world.  

So, I was reading that we all focus on the whole concept of "the one" and we forget about how you fell in love... some people seek and seek and they never find anything because they don't know what they're looking for. They go through relationships unhappily changing to another and another... It doesn't work that way and a person will never find happiness...So the best Key to making a relationship/ marriage a very successful in your personal life "...IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND." I guess with that comes a choice and a decision of love and life and of the daily value. Nothing in life will ever be easy and if you don't know how to work through the hard times, you will never learn to appreciate the good in life. It's always better to focus on the happy moments and not on the transitional points that are just roads to take you where you need/will to go. 

At the end of it all, it's not about just concerning with what can and might be but letting yourself enjoy the moments and choosing to enjoy the moments not just giving up when it gets tough. It's a lot easier to quit than stick it through. But, when will quitting be enough to add joy to life.