December 31, 2011
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Marriage: What is it to you?
Currently
Funny People
By Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Eric Bana, Jonah Hill
see related
Currently
Under Pressure (DMD Single)
see relatedSo today I was wondering about marriage … yea random thoughts come to my mind.
Well as little girls it’s weird how the thought of marriage gets involved at such a young age. The weird part is that even though your parents would like to have you marry at some point the thought of really thinking about it would be scary, sex haha (off track, Ooops) Ok, it’s nice being so naive in life and not knowing what it (marriage) involves you just know it’s something you will want one day. A husband and [insert random number of kids], a house but you don’t know really know why you want it, it’s just normal to want something like it since young.
Now, boys on the other hand don’t grow up with the thoughts of being hooked into a marriage. It’s probably the last thing in their minds (most or all). Boys grow up wanting other things in life, cars, and who knows what. Just having fun and doing what ever boys do. Boys when they think of girls they think “cooties” or as they get older “nagging” … I don’t know what stereotypes (or real life experiences) they have on women.
It gets to a point where 2 people start thinking about not wanting to be alone for the rest of their life while others prefer to have the single life. The thought of marriage can be so illusive but peaceful and wonderful when you have that person you think you “love”… is it “love”? Is it the same feeling or different than you have ever felt with someone else… Can you make it work? Are you committed enough to make it work from the get go? Would you let it fail or how would you prevent it from failing?
Just as many don’t think about what it entitles just the feelings that come with it… and well the excitement: the unexpected of “the question” and the joy of “the ring” … is that what your life climaxes to? To wait for someone to pop the question, for you to ask the question or to just give the answer? (“Yes, I will” etc) Many people just want that so much when they actually get into a marriage everything changes and then they whine and complain how nothing is the same anymore…
Is that why marriage fails because you have different expectations of what life really will be? Or really because you don’t know what happens after…We don’t know for certainty but in your mind you should start preparing. Your dream never included that you would have to wake up early and make breakfast, or lunch, or dinner (for either party, depending on work schedule) because suddenly you needed to include someone else’s agenda and not just yours… not to mention washing, dishes, cleaning, …. and what if you end up pregnant…. It happens you know… Kids… sleepless nights, poop, throw-up… what about when kids get sick and cry all night: Colics, ear infections, fevers, colds and every other unexpected thing. I guess don’t aren’t part of the dream. It’s where people fail because they didn’t know they suddenly had to have other obligations… yes OBLIGATIONS.
I’m not married or know what a marriage is like so I’m asking how people feel about what they’ve grown up thinking and feeling about marriage and how you feel about it now.
So my question is: What does Marriage mean to you and why? Why get married? What expectations do you have for yourself or for your future spouse… (If your married: Is it what you expected?) Has divorce ever been an exit plan?
Comments (53)
Sigh. You don’t want to hear my answer on this tonight. I’ll let other, cheerful people come and answer this, and here’s a rec!
I don’t believe marriage is right for me anymore. Life is too effed up and I am not capable of falling in love again.
I just don’t want to marry a creeper.
To happily accept the obligations so long as the steadfast company, the romance, and the sex life comes with it. Otherwise, no. Not worth it. Next question?
I want to marry because I’d like a lifelong companion and someone to share many wonderful experiences. Also, I want to be married so that I can have a family of my own, and carry down my family’s Slovak culture and traditions to another generation.
Expectations of a husband? I hope he’ll be Slavic (don’t care if he’s Czech, Croatian, Slovak, Serbian, etc) and at least a bit religious – my family’s traditions and culture are *that* important to me. Other than that, I really don’t have other major expectations.
Divorce is something I will not allow, unless my husband is abusing our children.
Marriage is wonderful, but needs to be entered into for the right reasons and not for THE WEDDING!
My wife and I have been married since 1980. We lived together first for five years. When everybody finaly stopped asking “when are you guys going to get married” we snuck off to a registry office and did.
marriage meant assurance to be with the one i loved. i don’t think i’ll get love again so, it is a hollow term, used by deluded realists.
beyond that i doubt i’ll trust another girl so… nope
To me marriage means a lot of things, but the main one is “I’m head over heels in love with you and I tihnk we could grow old together happily”
Why get married as in the actual legal agreement and official ceremony? Tax breaks!
Why get married as in commit to spend the rest of your life with someone through thick and thin? That’s a more complicated answer.
I’ve seen a lot of great marriages in my family, and the partnership they have is quite enviable to me. My parents always have someone to come home to that they know will support them in the end, even if they don’t always agree.
I expect a spouse to love me, try to make it work no matter what, and communicate. I’d like my spouse to be well educated, smart, hold down a job, etc., but all those things I can compromise on under certain circumstances.
I definitely don’t think one should marry someone if they’re already wondering about divorce. That’s sort of like getting a tattoo and thinking about how much the removal surgery costs: probably a sign you shouldn’t do it.
That being said, I absolutely think that two people who no longer love each other despite trying to make it work should feel free to get a divorce, particularly if there are kids involved. Kids can handle a divorce, but growing up watching two parents hate each other and fight is not a great model of what marriage should be for them. They’re better off seeing you break up, move on, and be happy alone or with someone else, than sit around hating each other and yourself or being unhappy just to somehow prevent them the pain of divorced parents
Marriage is something I really want to feel in my lifetime. I want to live the rest of my life with a man who smile at me when I wake up, being in the kitchen with me in his spare time, who hugs me when I’m happy and sad, the one who will watch our children grow up, and the one who will laugh at me when I’m singing just to make me happy lol
I don’t really have much expectation for my marriage because I just simply want a warm laughter in the house I will live in
@DivaJyoti - Thank for the Rec! Haha I know marriage isn’t always cheerful. Would love to still hear your input! =D
@SHEERROSE - I’ve always thought the same thing. I mean regardless I still want to get married as long as we’re on the same page, I think we can compromise.
@ShimmerBodyCream - haha, how would you know?
@Ampbreia - of course… sex life has to come with the equation. haha =D
@FrenzElectric - Couldn’t agree more with you statement.
It’s sad how family and community always tries and pressure. But, so glad you’ve been married for so long. Any advice for keeping the fire lit? or making is work everyday after so long?
But, I really like your response.
@lenybobsyouruncle - I’m sorry you’ve been hurt. I know how you feel I’ve been there myself and never thought I would be able to feel anything but distance from people I talked to. After many many years there has one to really lite something. We’ll see.
I hope time lets you heal.
@jenessa1889 - haha tax breaks
@fabolousclown - Awww this is so sweet!! I like that! =D
To me, it is a covenant between me, my husband, and God. It’s a profound binding of two becoming one. It’s not just “I love you so much! I never want this feeling to end!” It’s making a lifelong
commitment to choose to love that person, even when you don’t feel ‘sparks’ or excitement. As Shakespeare said, “The course of true love never did run smooth.” It’s about making the journey in life alongside your partner. Looking forward in the same direction together. Marriage also helps you create a stable environment to raise children in. Not that you can’t create a stable environment singly. But it is a lot harder as one person compared to two.
I prefer to look at divorce as only something that should be done in the case of infidelity or abuse. But even then, sometimes infidelity can be forgiven and the guilty party can change. I feel too many use it as a cop out these days when the going gets tough.
Marriage is work. But it is worth the sweat and tears. A thousand times over.
Marriage was pretty much what i expected- a lifetime commitment to raise whatever child(ren) came our way, and to learn to act as a team, in all aspects of the relationship. My wife made a man out of me, and she will have me hanging around her when i get to the spirit life, also.
Marriage doesn’t really mean anything to me. Not in a traditional sense. I can only think of a couple reasons I might marry someone. Important financial move and if my BF got sick so I could make important decisions and the doctors could actually talk to me about what’s going it. It upsets me that I have to marry my BF just to get any legal rights as a couple. I’m annoyed that in order for my relationship to be taken seriously, it has to be sanctioned by the state. I believe the divorce rate has proved that being married does not guarantee a life long relationship but it’ somehow the ideal relationship status.
@pinktiger335 - Love is first of course: madly and passionately. Mutual respect, especially for the differences. We are both artists and designers in different fields and will argue tirelessly on points of design and colour, but also know when to give way. We enjoy each others company and find lots of things to do together, yet still retain or own individual interests and support the other in theirs when needed. We talk, plan, cook and clean together and we are comfortable with each other, still.
Marriage to me is a legal commitment and is a lot easier now that i am older. My hubby is my best friend, companion and partner in crime when we decide to go have some fun.
@firetyger - Yea, I wholeheartedly agree with you.
@RighteousBruin - I am so glad it was hun. Leaning to be a team is very important =D
@Saridactyl - Yea, I understand where you’re coming from. You’re already committed and don’t see the point of the legal document. But, it sucks how you need a license in order to have some rights with the person you love.
@FrenzElectric - That’s very nice. A very good relationship it seems. =D
@Grannys_Place - I guess when we’re younger sometimes we don’t pay attention of what the legal aspect requires although it can come in handy when you have kids and something goes wrong. So many people have opinions and what better person than a spouse to be there and and make you wishes happen. Life can be tough but yea. haha I was talking about partner in crime last night with my bf. …you’re very cute. I’m so happy for you!
Well I’m not married yet, but to me, the thought of marriage has always meant a special bond between people. Man and woman, man and man, woman and woman… etc. It’s a way to tell the world you’ve found someone special and they’re yours forever. It’s always seemed like a special experience and I can’t wait to get older and (hopefully!) get married. (:
I love being married, personally. It can be tough now and then because I’m sharing a life with someone else, but we don’t often clash. I picked an excellent husband. We work our asses off to be happy, healthy, and strong. Marriages take work and a lot of people think that’s a bad thing, sadly.
Marriage has it’s own definition. If each one of us is allowed to define the meaning of words, then the words become meaningless because they can have infinite definitions.
I use to want to be married more then anything in the world. That I would meet that person that I would want for the rest of my life. But as I grow up, I realize marriage is MORE then that. You can have the same relationship with someone your married too, even if you aren’t married. One day I think I want marriage. But for now? I’m not at the age to even consider it any time soon. Maybe when I’m 30? LOL.
You want me to think this early in the morning? Oh my… April will be 54 years! Lots of up’s and downs, and yes contemplation a divorce by me not her. My stick to it was the children, I once said after they are grown I would leave,. Now in my old age where would I go? Over the years we have learned to give and take, after all it’s a two way street. We have four children, six grand children, eight great-grand- children and one in the oven due in March.
I would say that marriage is not for every one. Unforgettably if two life together children will bound to come along. Then if you split up the children will be hurt in the long run.
Self control is very difficult for many! Morality today has been side lined for I want what I want when want it.
*typical in your 20′s answer?*
I don’t really see the point in getting married, but that might be because my parents didn’t have a long lasting marriage .. idk, i just think its enough to declare love to eachother without any big celebrations and official people around it.
I might feel something for signing a cohabitation agreement though..
I always wanted to get married, I think there’s other guys that do too. Personally I think those are the best kind. It’s not good if you have to take a guy kicking and screaming to the alter but w/e. To me it’s just finding the person you love and committing only to them. It’s entering into a partnership on which you both work equally and don’t slack off. Supporting each other and stuff like that. It’s never completely easy living with anyone… brothers, sisters, parents etc. with a spouse is no different. But still, there it is.
I wanted to be the perfect wife, the perfect girlfriend, I always wanted to be a mom too. But I sure wanted to be a loving, caring, sweet, interested wife a good cook a good friend for my husband, I wanted to be the safe harbor for him, a warm embrace to lean his head after a hard day at work. Marriage for me was the most important thing that could have ever happened and when it ended I guess I lost my heart in the process :- I guess I just had too much hope and I’m sure I’d never do it again.
My boyfriend and I want to be married because we practically all ready are. We live together, depend on each other, and make decisions and tough real-world calls as a couple. It’s been the hardest two years of our lives, but we’ve been able to survive and still love each other, even more, because we are just compatible. Our taxes would change, and paperwork like that would be different, but we just want to have the ceremony to officialize what we all ready are in our hearts. (I know that’s not a word, btw
….) I’ve never held cement ideas of what I expect in a marriage except those of how I want to be loved and respected. People change, and so does life.
marriage is something great and something that is elusive for me.
@xXxlovelylollipop - Don’t become jaded about what happened in the past. Look at it for all you’ve learned- about yourself, about other people. Use that knowledge to make your next relationship that much better. For you, for your BF or whoever, for your kids and family. I could write a whole book on my past, but I’ll leave that for another time.
Marriage is forever to me.
For me, marriage is a lifelong committment (so no, divorce has never been or will be an exit plan) to my best friend and the love of my life. The vows we made on our wedding day were vows we meant and have kept. There is no such thing as a perfect life or relationship so yeah, there have been problems, arguments, etc, but we always work it out, continue to love each other and value each other over all others (yep even our children). It takes a lot of work and communication–but it’s worth it.
Then I must be lucky because I’ve never held the high ideal of getting married even when I was young, I kind of knew there was more out there for me. Sure, I thought about it when I was a bit older but life changes all that, experiences opens eyes.
But I’ve mostly found out is you don’t have to get married to have that same kind of relationship, that same kind of commitment(Though it does help in the legal matters like what @Saridactyl has already stated), that same love. To me, I already feel like I am married to my bf. We already have that same kind of love etc; and I think what is most important is to have those things above all else, because a good relationship is a good relationship no matter what and marriage shouldn’t really have to define all that.
Though I do find it funny and strange a bit that my bf is a bit more willing to get married to me just because and because that he wants it-I’ll gladly do it for him because I do love him that much.
It took me a while but I eventually realised I’m the second half of a partenership. I want to be married I want to be with someone and when i find her I’ll do everything in my power to make sure we’re together for the rest of our lives.
I don’t know what the point is of anything, but if I can raise children of value and make sure they have the best childhood that I can provide then at least something I’ve done will last, not even sure if that matters but it’s the best I can do for a life goal.
So bottom line marrige is very important to me, and once I feel i’m ready that’s what i’ll be looking for.
And divorce will most certainly not be on my mind.
I feel like marriage isn’t really supported in our current society. Its not a value that is number one priority. As a result, many couples don’t fully understand marriage and/or don’t get the support needed to have a successful marriage.
I was married once. My ex thought divorce was a exit plan and she used it.
Marriage is like a big endless job. It is too much commitment, too much responsibilities, dedication, never being able to be alone. And then when we grow older we start a new career: a nurse to look after the disabled other. A single life is heaven compared to it. But i would not discourage anyone to go into it if it’s really their call. Some people just have to try it…
@SentimentalDoll - I also hope you get to experience the joy and challenges which I’m sure will be worth it with that on special person.
@chicbananas - Sounds like you guys were made for each other.
I’m so happy that everything works great. The best feeling is knowing you’re there for each other and support each other.I agree people think work is a bad thing, always wanting the easy way out I hope to one be able to say the same thanks.
@homealiven45 - I agree marriage has a definition but it isn’t defined completely by the definition but by the people who are actively in it. So each individual person has a different feel of what it is to them, imo. And it’s not about the words loosing the meaning, regardless each marriage will be different but it wont change what it means.
@GorgeousNightmaree - It’s funny you mention it like that because I think many of us go through the same thing. We want something and when we realize what it actually is that we always wanted we choose to explore a little more and then decide to actually go through with it when we still life will be a little easier. It’s never late to find that one person for our lives 20s 30s and even later. =D good luck.
@boydcreek - haha, I love making people think, sometimes.
54 years is amazing. Congrats to you and your wife. I can see your staying for the children but do you still love her or is it because you two had so much comfort or got use to the situation. The divorce part can be very hard. But, best of luck as you keep venturing in this life together regardless. 54 years is a long time but it’s a huge accomplishment as well.
@stadsjongen - haha, I’m sorry your parent’s didn’t and maybe if you one day get married you learned from the mistakes they made.
I agree that marriage shouldn’t be about the celebration and I think you’re confusing that to what marriage actually is. Marriage isn’t about the ceremony or celebration which are usually apart of the ritual but it’s about the person and your reasons why you’re in it for the long haul.
Cohabitation, still kind of like marriage. almost same thing different name.
@Happily_Married_Guy - I agree, finding someone who has an aspiration for marriage is always a plus. I’m not having a shot gun wedding haha That’s very beautiful how you describe it. thanks
@xXxlovelylollipop - funny thing is that I grew up thinking the same way. I never got married but the possibility back in the day was that it was leading towards that. I think we all get some kind of heartbreak as hard as it is. And having kids is so much harder. I know you’re still torn but there is always hope. I know, it’s not something we want to be so susceptible to since we know the pain it can cause us and kids but you’re beautiful and I’m sure your heart will open again. It’s an experience and now you’re more knowledgeable *hugs*
@tarotbutterfly - Aww that is so sweet. Seems like you guys are amazing together and when you do decide to make it official you continue the bond. =D
@godfatherofgreenbay - Why elusive?
@Randy7777 - I agree. I wont go into a marriage without acknowledging that it will be forever.
@stephensmustang - exactly!! I couldn’t agree more with you answer!! =D
@Hinase - Yea, I agree. When you love someone regardless if your married or not that love just keeps growing and growing imo … Sometimes people feel that actually getting married is a symbol for the unity and it might be why he wants to get married to you? To prove his love, and how much he trusts you even though you already have that? Good luck though, it sounds like you two are an amazing couple!
@BFB1131 - Just beautiful Bede. I couldn’t agree more. That’s what I’ve wanted as well. I hope we both have an opportunity to have it one day. =D
@brokensilence04 - exactly, That is very true that’s why I was kind of wondering myself about how people thought. I hope this changes or they start seeing the minority few who struggle and still manage to pull through. Marriage isn’t about a test drive but people take that way and if they don’t like it, they like the feeling of not being alone but hate trying to making it work.
@C_L_O_G - I’m sorry. Exit plans, easy ways out just don’t make sense to me. Her loss. :/
@locomotiv - Marriage shows the different stages of commitment and love you have for your special somebody. Thank you for sharing that with me. Brings so much into perspective. See with age come wisdom and that’s much of what we young people don’t have. We don’t understand the reason, the “whys” and so we fail because it gets hard. I’ve never been married but I hope to one day regardless of the hardships. I want to be there until the end of time. We all like to romanticize but like you said it comes with different “career” changes and that’s how it should be!
@pinktiger335 - They don’t make sense to me either. I didn’t have an exit plan. Of course now, I’m afraid to become involved with anyone again. I just couldn’t go through that again.
@pinktiger335 - He’s already proven his love to me, otherwise he wouldn’t be with me throughout the bad times of this year and last. I already know how much he trusts me. I don’t need marriage telling me that, but I guess to him it is different but to me, I don’t need really need it anymore but I’m doing it for him. I love him that much.
@pinktiger335 - You explain it so well. Thank you…
Marriage to me is the goal of a relationship. To find someone to spend the rest of your life with. But that doesn’t mean that because it is the goal, you are able to take shortcuts. That’s why it fails so much in my opinion. People always taking short cuts to find the quickest way to the goal and then realizing that they made a mistake later on.
Why get married? The ability to share your benefits, be it health insurance or any sort of benefit with the person you want the stand by your side. Tax breaks! oh and I guess love…haha jk. Get married, not for the wedding. That is only one day of the rest of your lives. Get married for the marriage that comes after!
Expectations for my spouse. Not to cheat on me! haha I’d hope they’d still be in love with me after many years down the road. I don’t have any expectations. Someone who I can trust and share anything with. Who I can help and can help me. Not just financially either. I mean even with household chores around the house. I like to take care of the person I am with and don’t expect them to do everything for me, even if that is what is expected. Old fashioned thinking.
Divorce has never been an option for me. I have always wanted to get married once and only once. I believe that we can work through any problems that arises. Or else why get married? Should have just stayed as b/f and g/f, so you have the ability to break up if things get tough. Of course, I am not saying divorce is wrong. Sometimes it is necessary. Certain situations call for a divorce, but I never understood irreconcilable differences. You are with that partner to be able to talk things out and work things through. Marriage will be tough, but in my heart I know that I will make it work. =D Half of the battle is finding the right person, so that is why I haven’t jumped the gun and got married, yet. =D
For me, marriage would be the “I’ve found someone who I’ve decided I would like to settle with, and I would like them to know that is my decision if they share it too.” I would not consider marriage as a way to make my relationship more serious, marriage would only be a way to celebrate the seriousness of the relationship. I am still having a difficult time with marriage, and the ideals, though. A lot of it would be for the benefits. And it would almost certainly continue with my open relationship into an open marriage. (New ideas, still thinking on them) but I am young so I have time to think still.
You know its funny, but I’ve always felt that way. I am in a committed long term relationship and have been constantly pressure to tie the knot. But I am not ready for all of that and more. PLUS I believe that you can be in a committed relationship and not need a ring or piece of paper to prove it.
Ive grown up seeing all of this and more in my family and friends. And marriage isn’t what everyone thinks. I have seen many people divorced or split up because of menial things like not getting a good enough job, or deciding that all of sudden he/she does not want kids. I think the most important thing about a good relationship is realizing that YES you do have to make compromises. As well as balance your own “marriage” with a healthy social life. Because I have seen many of my ex friends vanish because of controlling men OR the belief that once you get married you no longer have time for friends or hobbies.
@C_L_O_G - it’s not about fear but I totally get you. I guess you have to be open from the very beginning to see what they want in life. I don’t know I can’t imagine how it felt for her to just walk away. I understand going slowly into knowing a person… don’t just jump into it but don’t shut yourself. I know it’s painful but I’m sure a wonderful person and you don’t deserve that. *hug*
@Hinase - yea, I’m sure he has which is wonderful. All people have different ideals of ways to prove they love a person and wants to show that it’s a commitment for life. Marriage means so much more than a license and a piece of paper but since it’s lost meaning because people keeping just having one-day weddings many people don’t want to be associated with that. But, I don’t know a small celebration of two uniting in love with their loved ones is also wonderful. I was actually learning from my bf that some of his friends have “Asian Wedding” where they do small little ceremonies with each other’s families and then usually after that go to the city hall and make it official but they make it official with the families first. It’s a nice thought. Best of luck for the two of you! =D
@locomotiv - thank you sweetheart! Thank you for your wisdom! =D
@pinktiger335 - True, that is true and I did acknowledge that, which is why I don’t mind getting married to him. We both have our own ways to express our love and that is fine and I can compromise on that (because if I didn’t, we wouldn’t have a good relationship, huh?). It just matters at the end, we’ll be with each other no matter. That is an interesting concept- “asian wedding”. It’s a shame my fiance’s family doesn’t like me much but my family loves him. Interesting nonetheless. Thanks though ;D
@Cucumber_Melonhead - You explain it so well. Thank you for the comment I truly appreciate it.
haha tax breaks… yea— TAX BREAKS!!! lol jk oh and love yes that would be a minor detail to tax breaks lol… I suppose
“Someone who I can trust and share anything with. Who I can help and can help me. Not just financially either. I mean even with household chores around the house.”
Is Old fashion thinking wrong? lol
Anyways, great response!!!
@lorelei - I couldn’t agree more. ”I would not consider marriage as a way to make my relationship more serious, marriage would only be a way to celebrate the seriousness of the relationship.”
@Emilythefairy - Yes it’s very true. There are so many pressures especially when it comes to family and sometimes ideals, culture and the list goes on. But, what really matters is when the couple is ready for that commitment and just you said you don’t need the ring or piece of paper to show that commitment with each other. To be it’s almost has been a way to prove that I want this forever or until “death do us part” as my commitment… like I want to give a gift to them in a way, you know. It’s not because I want the relationship to remain the same with the trust and communication
See the splitting up and divorce is something I’ve seen quite a bit and would hate but it’s not something I agree with and the person who I do decide to marry once day will be for better or worse, no matter what. I think most things can be worked on but some people aren’t willing to try. If you fell in love once, you can fall in love again. Balance= very important!! Thank you for bringing that one up!!!
@Hinase - I’m sorry his fam doesn’t like you. My sister is in a similar position with the guy’s mom… something happened when they were younger and the mom stopped liking my sister for no fault of my sis and they became bf/gf like a while after. They’ve been together for 4 yrs plus and very happy. I don’t know how things are with his mom but they’re very happy together.
I wish the best for both of your families and for you as a couple. It could have been a nice concept but it doesn’t always work. We all have our own traditions, I suppose and well sometimes you just create your own traditions as well. =D
@pinktiger335 - It happens and it’s okay. They aren’t exactly good people to begin with and my own family (a lot of it is the same, probably why I don’t talk to them anymore). You’re right. We’ll just make our own traditions. I’m fine with that ;D
@Hinase - Yay for making your own traditions… Yes sometimes you have to weed out the bad and continue with the good to keep harvesting.
@pinktiger335 - Exactly!
@pinktiger335 - Nothing wrong with old fashion thinking sometimes. I was talking about the fact that it was old fashioned thinking that the wife is a homemaker and should serve her husband’s every whim. I don’t think I would enjoy that because I can do things for myself and help her out. Just the way I was brought up. =D
@Cucumber_Melonhead - Not complete homemaker but if that’s what she was taught I guess it takes time to take away those servitude habits away… It’s not serving the husband all the time but when it’s available even he should be allowed to be served. Sometimes both are brought up in their own and they will learn to find each other half way. I’m sure it’s not that hard .And help is nice but I also would not enjoy being served for everything when I can do stuff, so I see your point of view. =D
@pinktiger335 - I was talking to my mother about someone we know whose having a hard time (has a kid but not married)…and what she says to me is “Sex is the most important thing to keep a relationship together” I almost died. I told her no-sex is probably the most common thing that tears people apart because they don’t communicate-just fuck. its sad…and when I think about it, I became so mad at my generation for being this way.
@Emilythefairy - Yea that would upset me too… Communication is very important. I’m a single mother as well there comes a time when you prioritize and you learn there is more to life. Firstly, the well being of your child and once you have someone in your life a lot of communication to be on the same page… sex has to come as a different type of need… but each person has their own opinions.