December 19, 2011
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Why we fail...
I am always one to read relationship articles and how to make something work, what to do to change attitudes... You know the basics... I'm no expert in relationships in fact I've been in less than most people well not most people people there are some who have been in none. I guess what I have learned is to know what you don't like... Having a list of requirements of needs of a person will not always work but it sure helps to pin point but they're not quite deal breakers.
If you know what you don't like in people from the get go, then you definitely can pinpoint deal breakers. Those will be thing that will fire up an argument. It's not something you find out from one day but as you notice manerisms of the person and how they are. I guess that's why we go through a "get to know you" phase so that you learn part of who they are and what characteristcs are tolerable and which aren't.
See, I've always loved psychology and human behavior but I hate reading so many facts... I bore myself to sleep. Instead, I do study people. I guess it happened when I was so quiet and couldn't get myself to talk to anybody so I could notice actions and reactions of people. It's kind of fun to watch people. Yes, I would notice couples and you definitely tell by their postioning in their bodies and actions and reactions how they feel about each other. I guess in that sense I was fortunate that I was never noticed or I would be considered a creeper; I just used my peripheral vision. I'm no creeper. I guess this is where people who feel or are experts, are experts by studying and seeing behavior but not experts because they're experience it. Well some must experience it - I HOPE!!! - When you experience something, you're blinded and it's not so easy to think or judge for yourself. You're just happy with what's going on, you're hopeful and have faith something will spark so the little details of positioning and other small details aren't noticeable. (most of the time)
I guess the issue we all come to puzzle ourselves with is "The One" Sure there are people who we're more compatible or have a stronger connection. Lucky for us we're able to build a stronger connection with people now finding more compatibility over the net and not letting the physical aspect (pressure) blind you but it will also be a factor added when you actually meet in person. Attractions, pheromones will all be components to know if the person who you have fallen for is actually one you can still handle being with. Sometimes, you can meet the person and they may not be it at all. But, let's be positive and think that it all goes well *crosses fingers* then you just continue building. Love, is a wonderful feeling, and probably the best in the world.
So, I was reading that we all focus on the whole concept of "the one" and we forget about how you fell in love... some people seek and seek and they never find anything because they don't know what they're looking for. They go through relationships unhappily changing to another and another... It doesn't work that way and a person will never find happiness...So the best Key to making a relationship/ marriage a very successful in your personal life "...IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND." I guess with that comes a choice and a decision of love and life and of the daily value. Nothing in life will ever be easy and if you don't know how to work through the hard times, you will never learn to appreciate the good in life. It's always better to focus on the happy moments and not on the transitional points that are just roads to take you where you need/will to go.
At the end of it all, it's not about just concerning with what can and might be but letting yourself enjoy the moments and choosing to enjoy the moments not just giving up when it gets tough. It's a lot easier to quit than stick it through. But, when will quitting be enough to add joy to life.
Comments (13)
it's not just about the end point...finding love..it's also about enjoying the journey that it took to get there! Enjoy every moment...every second. at least I do. ^_^
@Cucumber_Melonhead - Well there is never an end point when it comes to love unless one person calls it quits which would be a choice made by one... it's hardly ever mutual, in my opinion. Even when it's "mutual" decision, It's more one resigning and doing the will of the other to allow happiness.
Yes, the journey is the best part. I meant that sometimes there are bad moments and people focus on the bad and those transitions lead to negative rather than consideration that it's a journey "WE" two are taking together.
I, also, enjoy every moment, every second and every smile, and tear. It's what life and love are about. Communication, love, compassion and trust AND the journey the two take hand in hand.
Maybe 'the one' just comes along while you are living your life. Maybe you learn to love each other. I don't know. I'm a failure with romantic relationships.
Foe every grain of sand there is a unique personality. Rare to find two a like. Have a great week!!!
I thought about your post for a while. Even had two slightly different versions of my observations about 3 paragraphs long. In the end, I deleted it all to leave you a smiley ...
Think I'd rather step back ... another smiley
I love the companionship of a relationship with the right person. It makes the journey to love much smoother and more fun.
@C_L_O_G - well yes "the one" does come around but people are so blindly looking for other stuff that sometimes they don't realize when love hits them. I guess we're all failure to romantic relationships... the more you have the more experience you have at what you have failed. It just takes one, to be an expert... a long lived one. IMO
@boydcreek - Very true and very wise. Hope you had a wonderful weekend and you have an spectacular week!
@jdortiz - haha, you should have posted. I love hearing what people have to say. I know you're very opinionated as well haha. You don't have to put up a fake smile... haha thoughts are welcomed!
@Grannys_Place - I couldn't agree more. That is something we all long for in life. We want to be able to walk 'long side the one person. How long have you been with your So?
@pinktiger335 - Ha!
You put that across so well. Made me think,
Great post... nothing beats finding your matching pea that fit your pod
Like the above commenters said, the journey is the best part! Perhaps those who will walk the road with you will be found in family, friends or a lover. Being able to take up life's burdens together or share in happiness is what makes a nice life, amazing!
Lots of deep thought! A lot of thoughts about the "one" can also apply to each person in our lives! Friends, other relatives, etc.
@beauty_is_truths_smile - Thanks. I was deep in thought when I wrote this.
@Heartbreakkid123 - haha, so true!
@AmeliaHart - I suppose that can be true. It was more an observation. I'm not worried so much about the one of have really concentrated on finding the perfect person. It just happens whether you want it to happen or not. And sure you will have to interact in order to self discover what is going on but "the one" or the journey most people talk about isn't in reference to family and friends. I think that they are a big part but it's a bit different.
@Donkey_Guy_10 - It can be applied but it's not on most typical situations. Sometimes people may have everybody who they need in life and still manage to feel alone... and if they had all the "ones" they needed they wouldn't. Of course there will always be exceptions to the rules. But, in all that talk it's more a personal emotional connection people have with each other for self fulfillment