October 31, 2011
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I "choose" to not love you...
So, I just did a pulse asking a question... and like any question you always get a variety of answers...
"Do you think Love is forever?" and those who answered agreed with "I think love is a daily choice"
And even though I can understand how or why one might think love is a choice, I've always been driven more by my heart than actually being aware. I don't have to choose on daily basis. I just love, I don't think about it. When I love, I love unconditionally and maybe it's where I have gone wrong. If I say "I love you" ... I mean it forever no matter what... the hard part would be trying to convince my heart after to forget about it... is this possible?
And I'm not frankly talking about the love of "God" because all believers believe He loves you forever and those that don't believe just don't. I'm talking about whether you can love another everyday. Even though, today in mass they spoke about the 2 most important ways to get to heaven and one is to love your neighbor and the other is to love God. If you can do both it would leave you in good standing. But, Sometimes it might be a challenge. People (most) can love God but they will not love themselves enough to love other than themselves. They don't know how to love and respect others. I know people may anger you but is it enough to doubt the love you hold?
I guess I've always been the hopeless romantic type but thinking about it more now... I'm more hopeless...
It was just a little tough thinking that people who have come into my world have chose to let go or rather not love... I know it's for the best but just the thought is a bit hurtful. We know there are better people out there, it's just that now I'm realizing there has always been someone better for the other person than for me. It doesn't always work out but love is a choice so go forth and choose your better choice.
So, when you believe love is a choice, can it be easier to fall out of love? Can some one teach us how?
@SirNickDon @Rainboxx @LKJSlain @grammarboy @livexlovexlaughter @snoog420
Comments (10)
I think that love is IF real it lasts until you die. When a relationship goes bad and you truly loved that person no matter what wrong they did/do or will do the love stays there. If you are separated then you have to convince your heart and you mind that it is otherwise every single day of your life. Ofcourse distance softens this lack of love but then when you randomly / somehow bump into this person all these feelings surge in then you feel like you have to be numb towards it....you always have to find a way around it. Never do you forget...
But this is just my opinion....
Yes i choose to stay throughout the hardship but if I ever chose to leave or if he ever chose to leave me EVEN though i might pretend to not care I will always love him. Always....but form of that love might change but I will always love him....not so much be IN love with him ....you get it?
I believe love is a choice to a certain extent. Let me give an example. You love your son and you would do anything for him. The choice is yours that you would do anything for him bc you love him so much. You don't even have to think about it bc he's yours and you love him unconditionally. In romantic love, you love the person, you know they love you, you would do anything for them but you have to make choices everyday to keep that love safe so it can stay unconditional.
I don't think so, because I have comitted to love my partner, which means I decide to every day.
I don't know what your longest relationship has been -
But most people will tell you that after five, ten, fifteen, twenty, - more years it becomes VERY difficult to continue to "feel" in love with the person that you fell in love with.
This is why I think that it always has to be a choice... because people say "Well, I just fell out of love" - well, this wouldn't happen if you chose to love even if you didn't "Feel" like it.
I could have written the same thing at several points in my life. I think you and I are a lot alike. There's a lot that goes into love, and to keep it simple and on subject I'm only talking about romance. Love is obviously more than just a choice; there are sparks and feelings that inspire that choice (or vice versa). Still, it's important to use discretion; it's easy to fall in love, but it's hard to find someone worth letting yourself falling in love with.
Most people aren't very determined about forever, even if they say they are and seem to be. You and I both know how much it hurts to be abandoned, especially in consideration of expectations. That was the guy who was supposed to love you forever, but he didn't. That was the girl who promised to love me forever and didn't follow through. That's the worst feeling in the world.
When I refer to love as a choice I don't mean that there are options, only that it's something active and not passive. If love were merely passive like seeing someone and being helplessly in love, it wouldn't have a lot of staying power. I'm not saying that feelings of love are temporary, but I am saying that you have to stick around to find out that they're not, and a lot of people don't because, passively, love isn't just happening for them anymore. They haven't made the decision to have an active role in fostering it.I just don't think it's worthwhile unless you give it your all. It's doomed to fail without that, and the ends are always painful. Also, when it fails, that can be cause for regret, as in: "If I had done more, maybe she would still love me."
Love is supposed to be forever, and it can be if you (mutually) choose it to be from the start. I say that honor dictates that there is no choice after that but to hold to your promise, but there are those who aren't so concerned with honor or other people's hearts. They only recognize love as the nice feelings that come easily, so they end up sabotaging themselves by leaving every time they "fall out of love", figuring that true love would last. The cycle lasts until they get bitter and want no more, but they blame anything and anyone but themselves. All the while, they're making messes of the people who gave their all to them in futility.
But it doesn't have to be like that. Just wait and see. God provides, and He can heal the deepest wounds and turn everything around. Believe me; I've been to the land of bitterness and despair and back.
For what it's worth, Reyna, even though I haven't been very appreciative on your blog... I do love ya. I'm sorry if I haven't expressed that enough. You've been an amazing friend, and I'm horribly sorry I haven't let you know that more.
If love were a choice, there is plenty of time I would have chosen not to be obsessed with it so that I could be pursuing more productive goals. It's a gradual process.
I think if's partly a choice. We choose whether we work on and build up relationships or not. But it definitely starts and continues with the heart as well.
@grammarboy - Well said!
Love is a feeling, I don't think it's a choice because you can't choose to love someone. It just happens.
Love is forever; between family and close friends there will always be love. As for love as in marriage, it can be forever if the two are devoted to each other.
You just love, no choice about it
Love is a choice, but it's not an easy one.
@Snoog420 - @TheMushyPear - @donna_salome - @stephensmustang - @stupid_systemus - @GodlessLiberal - @grammarboy - @LKJSlain - Thank you all for responding to this post. I'm very sorry I didn't respond back. All your words truly helped me a lot. I wasn't feeling in a good position when I wrote this. thank you for your support and input on the matter. You all helped into molding this stubborn girl .