September 8, 2011

  • Life Dreams

    When I was young I remember having many dreams and probably looking back pretty unrealistic for that matter or more like: as we grow up, perspectives change... 

    When I was little (sure) I had the idea that I would be married early on in age. Like ideally I thought 22 would be great age to marry, I guess with the thought that my mom was 22 when she had me and I had no concept that they weren't married at 22 but at 24. 

    I still dreamed ... 

    And I dreamed that I would fined a sweet guy early on in life who would want to spend life with me...

    We as girls sometimes get caught up in this image and sometimes are disappointed when we don't get married early like the media portrays all couples to. 

    And then one of my biggest dreams was to actually get married under the catholic church. Walk the isle finish my sacraments as a devout girl... but finding a person with your same interests in life and being the same religion typically don't match up anymore. It can happen for many but I don't close the doors to the possibility it's not going to happen. It's a part of life we all learn to adapt in life. 

    I wanted to be faithful to the religion.

    It was as if I had a timeline for my life and I just assumed it would happen. By 25 I wanted to have 3 children and be happy seeing them grow... We can safely say that life never goes as you plan it. 

    People are always optimistic and say just wait. I mean I have nothing better to do. But, as women get older they're sometimes considered less especially when gentlemen can get younger ladies and without children. Why would someone pick me? (just saying not really asking) 

    So out of my dreams as a child so far none came true... At 22, I didn't get married. Hey but, I had a child yet I was alone with that whole part of life. 

    I do admit that going college wasn't ever a part of my plan especially not really knowing what it was. My parents never talked about it since my dad only went up to 6th grade and my mom's parents were too poor to ever send her to school so wasn't part of my ambitions yet I went and graduated. Still, sadly the only one of my siblings to go and I'm the oldest and I had my son as a nice opt out if I wanted to when I was in school but didn't. 

     

    I use to want a beautiful house well when I was little I thought unrealistically wanted a house with 50 rooms... I was even designing it and everything... oh foolish child. You see we grew up in a one bedroom house

    (not the actual house we grew up in but was a tiny house) 

    In this one bedroom... when we were little it was my parents and my sister and I ... and then like 5 people living in the living room. Then when my mom had my bros of course we made the living room in another room so my parents slept there and we all 4 kids and my grandmother and sometimes some aunts slept in the bedroom. 

    Growing up like that I had big dreams... Now even though a bit short handed from my childhood dream it will still be hard to obtain a house which I would like. It's a dream and probably wont happen but if I even in my late life can get it to happen I would be happy... 

    yes, very beautiful house isn't it? 

    I do kind of dream big at times... I'm a big dreamer but it's because I've seen what it is to struggle and I want more not just for me but something to give to my kids and or to dream big and be hopeful. Not that materialistic life  is the way to go but sure helps a better living of course with a lot of love. 

    I've never been too picky when it comes to cars but 

    My first car (baby blue) 

    My second car or van (no ac but it got to me college and gave friends many rides, good times) 

    This is my current car which I got a month after my son was born. I haven't had much access to it for like over 2.5 years because I let my dad borrow it when he lost his truck... 

    Right now I'm hoping once I start working I'll be able to get a 4 door car since my little tercel is a 2 door (maybe another toyota or a honda, unsure) ... And then I want a car I've wanted my whole life.... I know you'll think it's overrated but when it's something I've wanted, if I'm lucky I might one day make it happen. 

     

    I know as far as life comes I will still dream. A dreamer, I've been my whole life with a realistic/pessimistic twist to it... but nonetheless there is hope ... 

    Sure regardless of what I said above the hope is one day I will find a person in which we can compliment each other in life and our future as in goals and family. When that happens, that's when everything else will be discussed or fall in place... I will not dream the same as I did so naively when I was a little girl... but if I can have more family sure (the number tbd -to be discussed-), marriage (tbd), anything religious (tbd mainly on the children, because I'm sure the issue would not be with us), and everything else (tbd)

    In this last month I've been praying a lot... I know some of you think it's pointless and others will be glad... But, that's not the point of what you feel... it's what I'm suppose to feel and where it gets me. There is so much to ponder... right now, there is so much to think about life, so much to gain and so much to learn...

    I think I'm finally in a position where I can start setting realistic goals in life and slowly obtaining what I want... I put my life on pause for 4 years plus and for good reasons... I can't go back in time or change what has happened but I'm actually glad it happened as it did... I've learned a lot especially patience and love for many people and I've even learned to love and accept my self something that has taking me 26 years to do. And even though I finally know who I am, it makes me sad that people prefer me to pretend than be who I am so I have pushed people away because they thought my life was too complicated and thought I couldn't put my life together but that wasn't it at all... I was need in a different place with different responsibilities,When people don't understand that, they truly weren't meant to be apart of my life. 

    I've learned a lot about people and friendship, love and dislike, family and unity, understanding and misguidance, right and wrong, religion, acceptance, and unconditional love... heart

     

    Here's me thinking of the perfect way to write what I need to do to get what I want in life and include you in it if you want... and if you don't, life will never end it just gives room for more changes and hope for better. kissheart

    I'm a dreamer and although I clash with dash of realism and pessimism I love all those (you) in my life.heart

Comments (22)

  • I think you are wise to dream, and to strive to achieve those dreams.  Don't give up on it, Reyna.  You are a lovely woman, and a man closer to your age is sure to think so, too.  The best of men are those who take a woman with a child, and love that child as their own.  I wish you all kinds of happiness and success.

  • @RighteousBruin - thank you!! That's very sweet of you and I hope so and if not I have my own person things to achieve. 

  • the big universe has its own agenda, yes. and you have yours. that's the dance, and you have a lot of future to work on your moves. ;)

  • I had my dreams but sometimes life got in the way.  Nothing wrong with keeping them though.

  • Even though you don't have everything that you want, I think you are doing just fine for yourself. :) You are still young. You will learn new things, and you will also probably accomplish more dreams in your lifetime. :) You've got a long time to go baby, don't ever give up. :D

  • I too am a dreamer. Some day I shall have a beautiful pear orchard of my very own. Until then, maybe we can dream together!

  • @complicatedlight - well, let's dance life... all evening all the way to dawn... I hope by then we'll be synced together. 

    @godfatherofgreenbay - I know, that's exactly what has happened to me. Time for new goals and compromise with life.

    @LKJSlain - Even though I don't have all the materialistic things I would want. I have more than I have ever wanted. Time aren't always perfect but I love many things just the way they are. I hope I have enough time. thanks for the encouragement darling!! *hug* I will do my best not to give up on me or my dreams. thanks!! 

    @TheMushyPear - I hope you do get your orchard you want... We shall both dream of dreams =D To no mushy pears =D 

  • Right, it's not how we feel that matters, it's how you feel.  Anyway, whatever works!

  • @pinktiger335 - you're welcome sweetheart *hug*

  • Continue dreaming and be flexible enough to change them when needed.  Enjoyed reading your post.  Brings me back to the times when I also dream.  Perhaps, we should all start dreaming again.  

  • Thank you for sharing this, I've learned more about you and I can relate about wanting more for myself but, life telling me different, I guess for me the bottom line is, it's not what I want it's what God wants for me.

    The key words in this post are, "I've even learned to love and accept myself." Damn right! That's awesome.

    I have a lot of love for you and I'm grateful to have you in my network... positivity is always necessary.

    HUGS...

  • I wish you the best of luck in achieving all your dreams :) I'm sure you will :)

    Heh, I had dreams that I'd be married already too. Oh well lol

  • It's ok to dream. Honestly, save for a detour through college, grad school, and a short teaching career, I'd say I'm right where I dreamed of being at this point in my life (from the time I was a little kid): I'm starting a professional flying career in my mid-20s and am a childfree bachelor, seeking out a childfree woman. Now, along the way I've picked up some hobbies I never expected or dreamed to (Lindy Hop, for example), but have enriched my life.

    I've yet to realize the dream of eventually being an airline Captain (though I'll get there, I just have to pay my dues as a First Officer first), but I'll say I'm pretty much right on track or ahead of my goals at this time in my life. Hard work and dedication are the name of the game. I got there, and so will you.

  • It's to good to have dreams.  Sometimes our dreams may seem far fetched, but that's what drives us to grow and reach for bigger and better things.  One of my rules that I live by is to never settle for less than what I want and that applies to all areas of my life.  Keep dreaming big dreams =) 

  • You've achieved a lot.  Keep dreaming!

  • Awesome! Thanks for befriending and visiting my site! God bless, ~ Pete

    "Since you were precious in My sight, you have been honored, and I have loved you..." Isaiah 43:4 (ref. my Xanga post of 2/21/2011 AD)

    http://evangelist-guy.xanga.com/741882736/do-you-feel-loved-and-honored/

  • Here's hoping that you find your love. I sure didn't this last week

  • one day your dreams will come true

  • If you do all that you can to remain faithful to the covenant you entered at your baptism, that same covenant you renew each time you receive the Eucharist, and if you remain faithful to the covenant you have formed with your precious child, you will live a blessed life. There will surely be times of difficultly, but considering all you have been through already I imagine there will be even more grace by which to endure whatever will come. Hold solid and faithful to those things that will persist with you through all of it--Christ your Lord and constant companion, your son, your family--and though you have perhaps had to say goodbye to some dear dreams you will live a life that many dream of and sadly never reach: a life upon which one can look back on in old age and feel no shame or regret.

    You are BLESSED and LOVED, sister!

  • As long as you don't give up, you still have a reason to hope for those things you've always dreamed of.

  • @DivaJyoti - haha thanks for the support darling!! 

    @LKJSlain - *hug* 

    @Christenstein - We should all definitely never stop dreaming. I think if we're not flexible with dreams and methods in obtaining dreams we're more willing to fail than succeed. I think dreams are what keeps us moving forward and obtaining goals.I hope you start dreaming soon. thanks for reading. 

    @ctaretz - yea, I see what you're saying. It's God's will but we need to try in order for God to give. If we don't try nothing is handed over for free.  We all go through hardships and I guess it's about not giving up. Thank you for all your support always. You're so sweet *hugs*  We'll all stay positive. Thanks for being a great friend and reading. -hugs-

    @Cestovatelka - Thank you! Only time can tell. 
    I guess , we, as little girls dream of early marriage? something embedded in our minds? lol I remember when I was little there was no way my parents wanted me to wed, I was their lil girl but now that  i'm older my mom can't wait, lol. Jk I'm  sure she can but she just wants me to be happy. The only thing I can say is that if we're single it's because those in the past weren't meant to be. ':) good luck hun! 
    @StatelessPilot@revelife - I'm so glad you're right on track with your dreams Lynn. Not everybody is that fortunate. I'm glad you're obtaining the job of your dreams, yes being Captain will come with the dedication and I'm glad you found a women just for you. Thanks for the support! 

  • @suefa_lee - that's great advice and you're right. Many times I've found my self to settle but... I like what you said.  Never settle for less. Thank you! I will surely keep dreaming! 

    @how2saveaplanet - Thanks!!! I hope he's the one who comes soon or is in my life already. To finding the love of our lives. And don't worry, she wasn't not smart for what she did. You are a great person and a better person is out there for you. 

    @TexasTidbits - Thank you, I pray they do. 
    @Ancient_Scribe - thank you. Some dreams will always change as our purpose for life does as well. I just hope that some do come true. Prayers for my family are always welcomes especially for my mom and dad, they need them pretty bad.  
    "a life upon which one can look back on in old age and feel no shame or regret." I agree with this... it's a goal many don't know they have but many live life the best of their abilities. thank you for everything. 
    @sir_spamalot - You're right. Sometimes it takes a while to figure whether we have given up or we're dreaming to set those dreams as goals or day dreaming and those will never be. But thanks, what you said makes a lot of sense and sure makes me think. 

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment